A Twist of Fate and a Slash of Irony
by Frozen By The Sun
Summary: My memories are floating by like waves on the ocean. They crash onto the shore that is my mind. I'm starting to remember why I slept this long. I'm starting to remember why they all fear me. A rather unusual VtM story, rated M for sexual themes.
1. Lingering love

I wanted to do a non-stereotypical VtM/WoD story, with its focus on romance and drama, instead of blood and gore.  
The story is a bit slow in the beginning, and it might be a bit confusing. All will be explained later on, however.

**Now, what you need to know before you start to read** (so that no one will be sending me hate mail or anything later on): I'm changing and bending some of WoD's history. Nothing that major. Like, I'm not altering history completely... This is more of a "what if" story. "What if this person I'm writing about existed, even though no one knew about him..." and so on.  
I personally think that I've bent history in such a discreet way that this could all be true, and be part of the history of WoD.  
You're all warned now, so don't send me any messages saying that I've messed up history, and that these things never happened. I know this is not how White Wolf wrote the history of WoD - it's how I decided to twist it, just because I think that the idea is cool.

Bear with me please!

**NOTE:** This is a "sequel" to my coming story named "Nocturnal Beauty (With Looks That Kill)". However, I feel that this story should be read first, even though it is the sequel.  
At the moment, I've written 11 chapters already. It's just a matter of publishing them, not writing them. I'm not sure how many chapters the story will end up being when it's complete, but probably somewhere around 20 or so.

**If you're a homophobian you can leave right now, because there will be maleXmale relations and somewhat sexual content later on.**

I don't own WoD, VtM or any of those characters - White Wolf does.  
However, I do own the maincharacter and most of the others who will be appearing. I will let you know further ahead what I do/don't own, so that there won't be any misunderstandings.

Text in _italic_ is the maincharacters direct thoughts, or memories. You'll probably understand what's what when reading.

* * *

_Darkness… Except for the darkness, the only thing I can feel is silence. I don't know how long I've been here. It feels as if I've been here for an eternity, yet it could be only a few minutes. I have no grasp of time. _

_Am I bored? No. Am I worried? Yes. But I don't know why. I'm not sure what, or who, I am worried about. It's there, somewhere, in the back of my head, but no matter how hard I try to reach it I can't. I know it's something important, but I just can't remember. I can't even remember who I am, nor can I remember why I am here. _

_How long until this changes? When will light replace the darkness? When will sounds greet my ears once again? Soon, I believe... I'm not sure how long it has been there, but I __**think**__ I hear something, and I can feel the presence of someone coming closer... Are they coming for me? Yes, the sound is getting louder. It's getting closer..._

**Chapter 1, Lingering love**

_What's this burning my skin? Is it sunlight? Yes, I think it is. I haven't felt sunlight upon my skin for a long time, I'm certain of that now. Wait, where did the sunlight go? Someone is in the way of it, shading me... Who's there? And why can't I open my eyes? Why can't I move!?_

Someone's touching me. It feels as if they're wiping sand and dust from my body... I can hear someone gasp. I'm pretty sure it is a man._ If only I could open my eyes to see who it is... _He's talking to himself, sounding quite excited, and also a bit frightened._ Is it me he's afraid of? Why would he be? Oh, that's right... I can remember it now. I'm a vampire. Of course he is afraid of me, I could kill him! But no... I can't kill him, I can't even open my eyes! _

_What's he doing now? I believe he's finished dusting me off. _I can feel his eyes upon me, looking at me intensely. He's touching something that's sticking out of my chest..._ What is it? _It's not part of my body. He's pulling it..._ Stop! Stop pulling it! It hurts!_

-"Aaargh!" My eyes snap open. I was right, it is a man in front of me, and he's looking pretty shocked by now. Shocked and afraid. I inhale the dusty air sharply, as I stare at him... His neck... I can see the blood pulsing through his veins... I feel my whole body shake as my eyes are fixed at his neck. I can't think of anything else but it. I'm not in control of my body anymore, it's acting on it's own, throwing itself over the man, sinking my teeth into his neck. Oh, the sweet metallic taste of his blood on my tongue, running down my throat. The first blood I've tasted in a really long time...

I'm back in control of my body again, however I don't want to let go of the man. I want to kill him, drain all his blood, leave his dead body down here instead of mine. After a few minutes he's completely drained, and I pull away from him, inhaling sharply as my eyes are rolling. The rush of blood... The most wonderful thing I've ever felt, better than anything else! I lean my back on one of the walls of dirt surrounding me, gathering my senses, enjoying the rush of killing. I feel my powers returning to me. At least some of them... I hold up a hand infront of me, watching the fingers move and bend at my wish as I focus all my strength at healing the wound I have in my chest. _I had completely forgotten how it felt to be alive... Or well, as living as one can be in my state... Now, if I could only remember who I am..._

After quite a while I stand up, peeking my head up through the hole in the "room" I've been in for such a long time. The sensational feeling aquired from drinking blood has by now faded, and is replaced with... sadness? Emptiness? Or maybe loneliness, as I look around. I pull myself up from the hole, onto the hot desert sand. All I see around me is sand, but it looks as if the area around me could have been a pretty large oasis a long time ago. The sun is burning my skin. _That's right. I can be in the sun.. Why is it so? I can't remember why... I suppose I'm not completely used to it now though, after being under the ground for so long. I need to cover my body with more clothes... _I hop back down into the underground room, and look more closely at my victim. _What a strange outfit he has... I've never seen anything like it. But I guess it'll have to do until I get to the next town, where I hopefully can get myself some ordinary clothes... _I drag the clothes off of him, pulling them onto myself instead. The fabric... it's so thick, and rather uncomfortable as well. Very different from what my skin is used to be in contact with. I pull those strange, heavy shoes of his on, not bothering even to tie them. I've never had shoes like these on. They're heavy, made of a thick material, but they're not uncomfortable. They seem to be the kind of shoes that are excellent for walking in, unlike the kind of shoes I used to wear. _Okay. This will have to do for now._

I decide to look around a bit, searching for the object that was in my chest. The only thing down here except for the dead man and all the sand and dust is a thick, wooden stake. I reach out to grab it to look at it more closely, but as my fingers touch it, it triggers a memory locked deep in the back of my head to flash before me.

_I was standing under a tree, waiting. She was getting late, the sun had set long ago. I couldn't help but to wonder why she had wanted to see me out here. She had said it was urgent. I heard a noise from behind and turned around slowly._

_-"Fatima." I greeted her. "You're late." She didn't reply. "Now, why did you want to see me?"_

_-"The girl." She said._

_-"What about her?"_

_-"There's something odd about her. She's capable of so much, at such a young age... I'm afraid her skills will succeed mine one day."_

_-"Perhaps they will." I shrugged, turning my back against her as I looked up at the starfilled sky. "Surely, you didn't ask me to come here just to tell me that you're worried that her skills might surpass yours, though. Why did you want to see me, really? Is there a problem? Do you not like her? Is she bothering you?"_

_-"No, she is not bothering me, and it's not that I don't like her, that's not the problem."_

_-"What is the problem then?"_

_-"The problem is that I do like her. Is she talking to you again?"_

_-"Yes." I replied, still not bothering to look at Fatima. Why was it a problem for Fatima that she liked her? Wouldn't it be worse if she did not like her?_

_-"She talks to me as well. She's told me about you." I stiffened at this. How much could Fatima know? Exactly what had she old Fatima about me?_

_-"She's told you about me?"_

_-"Yes. Do you love her?" Her question made me furrow my brows as I slowly relaxed. Fatima didn't seem to know about me, after all. Though why did Fatima want to know if I loved her? And what had she told Fatima about me?_

_-"I do. I'm not sure she realizes it, though."_

_-"It's a good thing, that she doesn't realize it." Fatima replied._

_-"How's that good?"_

_-"It's good, because that means..." She came up behind me, grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. "That she won't mourn you when you're dead." That's when I realized she had been hiding something behind her back all this time. It was a wooden stake, which she now aimed at my heart and thrusted into my chest. I let out a shout of pain and surprise as I felt it enter my chest, and I thought that this was it. She let go of me, and I fell to the ground._

_-"Jussi?" Her sweet voice called for me. I watched Fatima throw her head to the side, realizing that she was coming this way. She cursed, threw me a last glance and then ran off into the darkness._

I snap back to reality and drop the stake, almost as if it had burned my fingers. My breath is heavy and ragged, as I hold my hands over the now healed wound that the stake left in my chest. Thousands of thoughts rush in and out of my mind as I try to calm myself down. _That's what happened to me. I got staked. Why was I staked? Fatima? Wait... That's right... I remember... __**her**__. Fatima didn't know the truth about __**her**__.Who is she? I can see her face clearly, but I can't remember who she is... I know that she's important to me, and it has to have been her that I've been worrying about all this time... But who is she? My child? It doesn't matter who she is. All that matters is that I know that she is important to me, and that she means something to me. I have to find her. Maybe then I will remember everything. Yes, she's the key to my memories. She knows me, she knows who I am. I'll do anything to find her._

I pull myself up through the hole once again, looking down at myself to see how the clothes look in the sunlight. _Kind of weird... They feel weird as well. But I must admit, they are kind of comfortable, easy to move in at least. Such a dull, green colour though. What a shame._ Looking up at the sun I guess that it must be about mid-day about now. The sun is hig up in the sky, and it is very hot... _I can barely wait until evening comes... _

Not too far away from where I am standing now, I see a small tent of some sort, and a camel tied to a thick trunk of what probably used to be a rich, green tree. I approach the camel slowly. It looks at me, blinking intrested. I reach out a hand and touch its large head. The camel stays calm and doesn't even flinch. _That's right. I'm used to handling camels, aren't I? I'm more used to horses, but I've ridden camels many times, haven't I?_ I look into the camels deep, black eyes, and it gazes back into mine. It tilts its head slightly, blinking again before looking back at me with its large, kind eyes. It's as if the camel understands everything perfectly well. I stroke its furry head again as it looks away from me, seeming content.

I go to the small tent, checking it for anything of intrest. The only thing I find, however, is various books and notes. There's a lot of numbers written down, and short sentences as well. Mostly landmarks it seems. I don't quite understand everything, even though I am very good when it comes to reading and writing. The language, even though it looks like the kind I'm used to reading, contains odd words. Words I do not know and understand.

I leave the tent, heading for the camel. There is nothing else left here that intrest me, so I decide to leave. I'm not sure which way I should be going, so after mounting the camel, I decide to look around a bit, in hopes that I will find something that will point me in a certain direction. As I steer the camel around in a circle I feel something pulling me to the west, so I decide to head in that direction.

¤¤¤

After riding for a long time – I'm not sure of how long, I can't really grasp time yet, but it must've been a good couple of hours – I reach some sort of ruins. Almost everything is covered by sand now, but I can clearly see that there used to be some sort of a garden here, and the ruins must have been a house...

As I ride closer, memories are unleashed one by one. I can see clearly that this has been an important place for me. In the memories I see her again. There's nothing really important happening in the memories. It's just me and her, doing things together, and occaisionally there's a tall man with dark hair there too. I know he is important to me as well, but not as important as the woman.

I get off the camel, letting go of the reins, knowing for sure that it won't go anywhere on its own. I walk around the ruins for a while, searching for something. Although, what I'm searching for I do not know. After a while though, I find it; two pilars, leaning on each other, creating an entrance. I walk closer and look inside. I see this kind of "pathway" leading downwards, however it's too dark for me to see anything from up here. _I'm not sure if it's such a good idea to go inside... The whole thing looks like it could come down any minute, and I really don't want to get trapped under the ground again. But I guess this is my only lead... Something tells me I should go down there. What do I have to lose? ...I know the answer to that question... Her._

Deciding against my better judgement I make my way through the small "entrance", and down the pathway. I'm pretty surprised when I enter a large "chamber". Down here things are kind of intact. I can clearly make out the walls and roof in the dim light. _Where does the light come from? _Looking around, I see some small holes in the roof, from which sunlight creeps in. I slowly draw the conclusion that the walls and roof have been covered with sand, which has kept the strong desertwinds and the passing of time from destroying everything down here. There's not much left recognizeable now though. Pieces of rotting wood here and there, which could have been chairs, tables or even wardrobes. _But what's this in the middle of the room? Wood and large pieces of cloth? I suppose this might have been a bed._ As I walk closer to the bed a strong memory floods back into my mind.

_I entered her room silently and walked up to her bed. 'She's sleeping... God she's beautiful when she's asleep...' I leaned down and kissed her forhead gently, and I felt her stirr. She opened her eyes slowly and I looked into them. 'I want you... I need you... I love you.'_

_-"Do you want to become a part of me forever now?" I asked, sounding completely calm, although my mind was in complete chaos. 'Am I really doing the right thing? Is it right of me to claim her forever? She doesn't realize what forever means... But I can't risk losing her. I can't risk ever having her running off like that again. What if something would have happened to her? What if someone would have hurt her? I can't risk that.'_

_She blinked a little, looking slightly surprised. I wasn't sure if she was frightened or confused, or maybe a bit of both. I picked her up gently, bridal style, and carried her out of the room. I walked down the hallway and through a door, up a flight of stairs, up to the attic. I heard her gasp slightly at the sight of the room, lit up by a heap of candles, placed everywhere around the room. I carried her over to the bed I had prepared in one of the corners of the room, and put her down on it._

_-"Do you want it?" I asked her solemnly, even though I knew that she wouldn't reply. She raised a brow, not seeming to understand what I meant. "Immortality." I explained rolling my eyes a bit. I had been sure that she had figured it out already. Her eyes widened a bit and she shook her head. "You don't want? That's very unfortunate, because sadly enough, you don't have a choice." I smiled softly at her, knowing that she would thank me one day. "You see, since I no longer feel that I can trust you, not knowing when you will try to run away again, I'm going to tie you to me, by blood, making it impossible for you to ever escape from me again. This way, I will always know where you are."_

_Her body tensed, and seeming to have finally understood that I was being serious, she tried to get away, but I pinned her down to the bed without much trouble. I was much stronger than her, after all. 'I don't want to hurt you, but please, understand that I'm doing this for you.' She stopped struggling, her mind seeming at ease as she looked up into my eyes._

_I smiled softly at her before leaning down to kiss her cheeks, and then her lips. She was fully cooperative now, not doing anything to prevent my actions. Rather the opposite, actually, as she parted her lips and seemed to respond to my touch. I felt a smile crawl over my lips as I removed her nightgown. I had never done anything like this to her before, not sure what her reaction might have been if I tried. But seeing her in front of me now made me wonder how I had managed to resist all this time. My senses were running amock, and I felt that I should stop, before I lost control of myself, but I couldn't, being with her felt too good._

_She moaned softly as she leaned her head back, her bare neck just inches away from me, so tempting. She seemed to be in some sort of orgasmic trance – not caused intentionally by my way of influencing her, but I realized that this was even better than the effect my presece had on her, and I figured now would be a good time to actually get to the point of things. I allowed my fangs to graze her neck, slicing her skin carefully and licking away the drops of blood that surfaced. As I felt her sweet blood upon my lips I knew that I was as close to heaven as I would ever be. Her blood had always been the best to drink, even though I knew that she didn't like it when I did. None of that mattered now though, I realized and added more preassure, pushing my fangs fully into her neck._

_Getting lost in the feeling I almost ended up killing her, but just as she was at the brink of dying I forced myself to pull away from her and bit my wrist instead. Gathering my senses I watched the blood run down my arm for a while, before I turned back to her. I tipped her head back a bit, bringing my wrist to her mouth, and telling her to drink. I closed my eyes as I felt her lips grace my skin, but opened them again when I realized this would be the last time I saw the true, human, her._

I open my eyes and look at the bed at which I had embraced her, the image of her beautiful face still lingering in my mind. _She was my lover..? I... I loved her? No. I __**still**__ love her. That's why I have to find her. If I embraced her, I should be able to feel her precense when I'm getting closer to her. That's good. It'll help me find her._

Realizing I'm done down here I rush back up, afraid that the roof is going to colapse on me if I stay any longer. Feeling a bit weak I figured I should search for the nearest town so I could feed. Standing still I close my eyes and let my vampiric senses tell me where I could find people. I turn around slowly towards where I can feel people the closest, and open my eyes. At the moment, all I can see is sand, but I know there is people somewhere out there, and a lot of them as well, meaning it must be a rather large town.

It's morning already, so I must have stayed down under the ground for much longer than I thought, considering sun had just recently set when I reached the ruins. I decide that I should start riding, and maybe I'll make it to the village before the next sunset. By now I feel that the most of my powers have returned to me, I just need to feed before I can use them all.

¤¤¤

The village was farther away than I had thought, so when I get there the sun has set long ago, and it is already very dark.

I had left the camel a way back. It had started to get tired, and I figured I didn't need it anymore. I sneak around, trying to keep in the shadows, and trying not to attract too much attention, as I explore the streets. Memories are coming back to me slowly, nothing of importance though. Mostly just memories of how the streets, and the people hurrying up and down them used to look.

Things have changed a lot, I soon realize. The fashion is not at all the same as it used to be. The velvet and lace seems to be replaced by much simpler fabrics, but what surprises me the most is the number of women wearing pants. Nearly all women had dresses or skirts when I walked these streets the last time. Only the farmers daughters wore pants, the non-working class would never do so under normal circumstances.

The town itself seems to have changed a lot as well. The buildings look very different, lit up by lights in all kind of colours, with signs flashing different names. There's vehicles driving up and down the streets, machines that I've never seen the likes of before. _Was I really gone that long?_

I'm not left all that bewildered for long though. I know that I have seen a lot of change already in my lifetime, and I know that the only thing I can really do is to accept it and to do my best to fit in. This, I'm sure will not be a problem, after all, I am a master when it comes to adapting.

For a good hour or so I simply walk around on the streets and listen to people. Listen and learn. The language has changed a lot. The basivs of it is still the same, but the grammar has changed some, and the whole language seems a lot less strict. There seems to be a lot of new words as well, but none of this bothers me much. I don't plan on having any long conversations anyway. At least not with anyone who will live for much longer.

What really strikes me is the fact that there's still so much activity in the streets, even though it is getting close to midnight. _Not that I'm complaining though... For a creature of the night, like myself, this is all to my advantage._

I soon realize that I'm attracting a bit of attention, most definitely because of my clothes, since they're not very much like anyone elses clothes, so I figure that I should try to get myself some new ones.

Deciding that I had always liked the colour black, I set my eyes on a man who looks about my physical age, and is sitting on a bench, alone. He looks somewhat different from the other people I have seen. The colour of his skin seems brighter, and as I walk up to him to sit down on the bench next to him, I notice that the colour of his eyes is different from the other's as well. His have a clear green colour, instead of being dark brown.

-"Hey, dude. Do you know when the bus will be here?" He asks me. _Okay, I have no idea what time it is, except for that it is after midnight, and I really have __**no**__ idea what a bus is._

-"Uuh... No, I was kind of hoping that you would know." I answer, deciding to play along, and hoping I got it all right. I hadn't spoken until now, so my voice was a bit hoarse.

-"Oh, I see. Well, I guess it'll be here soon..." He says, and reaches into a pocket, pulling out some kind of a package. He then pulls out some kind of white, thin stick and puts it between his lips. "Do you smoke?" He asks and holds the package out in front of me. I realize that it's some kind of a cigar. Finally something I recognize, although the shape and size of them seems to have changed a bit.

-"Uuh.. sure..." I say, hesitate a bit and then pull one of them out, putting it between my own lips. The young man reaches into his pocket again, pulling out a small silvery object. He opens what seems to be a lid, and moves his thumb a bit, and a small flame lits up. _Fire..._ He holds up the flame in front of the stick and lights it.

-"Wanna borrow my lighter, or do you have your own?" He asks and holds out the silvery object to me, though the flame is gone from it. I take it with quite a bit of apprehension, I mean, after all, I **am** afraid of fire, and I've never seen this sort of object before. This "lighter" didn't exist the last time I walked the earth.

In the corner of my eye I see him inhaling the smoke and then exhailing it while eyeing me. I fumble with this so called "lighter", not sure how he managed to make it catch fire. I can feel him watching me, and he chuckles a bit. "Want some help?" He asks, and I nod slightly, a bit puzzled over this whole lighter thing.

-"I'm sorry... I'm..." I'm not sure what to say.

-"Drunk?" He suggests with a smile. I nod, deciding that would probably be my best excuse. "Here." He takes the lighter from me, and this time I clearly see that he pushes some kind of trigger down, which makes the flame appear. He holds it out infront of me, and I slowly move closer until the ciggarette is touching the flame and ignites. I inhale the smoke, and exhale it shortly afterwards. The sensation is quite strange, nothing I am used to at the moment, so it almost makes me cough, but I hold it back.

Eyeing him curiously, I see that he probably is a bit younger than me. He's got black hair, which is neither short, nor long, but something inbetween. However, it's shorter at the back of his head, and it's kind of spiked. He seems to be wearing a lot of makeup, his eyes lined heavily with a black colour, making them stand out quite a bit. _He's beautiful. _He doesn't quite look like most of the other people that I've seen, but it doesn't matter. He looks very dramatic, something which I appreciate. _I like to stand out in a crowd. This is the perfect look for me._

-"Uhm... This might sound strange, but do you know which year it is?" I ask him, and he laughs.

-"You... You serious?" He asks when he's calmed down a bit. I nod. "Dude... Are you high or something?" I don't reply to this, I only look away. "No, dude, it's okay. I do drugs as well sometimes, but I've never actually forgotten which year it is. It's the year 2007."_2007? That's a whole lot of years being counted there. If only I could remember when I was staked... _"Hey, dude, what's your name?" He breaks my train of thought and I look back up at him. _My... name?_ Memories come surging back to me once more. I see her again, smiling, talking to me, calling out for me, but I can't make out the words. I hear her voice, but I can't understand what she's saying to me.

-"I... can't remember..." I answer. He laughs at this.

-"Gosh, you've even forgotten your own name? Well my name is Randy at least." I nod, left in thoughts from the last flashback. "Are you okay? You don't look too good. You look a bit pale and out of it."

-"I'm fine... I probably just need to take a walk or something..." I say.

-"Yeah, I could walk with you for a bit, if you want to. The damn bus doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon anyway, and the hotel I'm staying at isn't that far away." He says. I nod again and thank him as we both get up. _My, my, this went better than I had imagined. He's volounteering to come with me... _Seeing him toss the small ciggarette away after taking it up to his mouth and inhaling a last time, I do the same, and we start walking into a park. "Where do you live?"

-"Uhmm... Around here. Not very far." I reply vaguely.

-"Oh, okay. I hope you can find the way, because I don't think I can help you with that, since I'm not from around here, so I don't know the neighborhood very well."

-"Where are you from?" I ask, even though I really don't care. I just want to act friendly.

-"Originally, I'm from the U.S." He says. _The U.S? Never heard of it._ "I've been studying abroad for a few years now. I have an appartment in Alexandria, but I'm here visiting over the weekend, to see an art display." _Art display? Appartment? So many strange words..._

When we've gotten far enough into the park, and after I've made sure that no one is around, I put a hand over Randys mouth and sink my teeth into his neck swiftly.

After draining him of his blood I hastily start to pull his clothes off. He has black pants in a thick material. They're kinda baggy, which makes them very comfortable, although they are a bit too long, seeing Randy is taller than me. I pull on his black shirt, which is kinda tight, and his thicker, black sweater on top. Figuring his shoes look much nicer, and a bit more comfortable, I pull them on as well. They're low and flat, and they're black with some blue markings on them.

Looking down at myself, I decide that it looks good enough, and hurry out from the park before someone comes and sees me there. I don't bother with hiding my victim, because I don't care if anyone finds him. After all, I'm not going to stay here any longer. I'm going up north, because that's where she went. I know that now. I don't know why I know though, I just do.

* * *

Just for the record: Fatima is owned by White Wolf, not me. She might be appearing again, further ahead, I'm not sure yet. If not, then she'll at least be appearing in my coming story (which I've already written about 70 pages at, so it'll be out soon, I hope. I just want to finish uploading this story at first.) 


	2. Sweet serenity

White Wolf still owns WoD and VtM, not me. I own the rest, though.  
Jacoby Randy Romain is not a real person, as far as I know. I made the name up, and hopefully no one will be offended.

Text in _italic_ is still thoughts or memories/dreams. Thoughts are written in present tense, and dreams/memories are written in past tense, thus you'll be able to seperate them from each other, hopefully.

* * *

**Chapter 2, Sweet serenity**

When draining someones blood you don't only get the blood, and the powers that comes with it. You also gain memories of the person which you drained, their knowledge, their complexity.

This guy, Randy, knew quite a lot about... unimportant things. But he also knew some important things. Things like travelling, and a whole lot of new words, for example. Now I know what a bus is. And now I know that I've must've seemed kinda strange to Randy. But it doesn't matter, cause he's dead now anyway.

I've gotten my hair cut, like Randy had his. It seemed like a good idea, cause it seemed "modern" and stuff. And I really wanna seem modern, because I don't want annyone to suspect who, or rather what, I am. Not until I figure that out for myself.

I knew that **she** had gone up north, I just didn't know how far north, but I ended up taking a plane to Germany, and from there I followed her trail down to France. In France, however, I couldn't sense her anymore, and I lost her trail. It was like she had disappeared into thin air. I seemed to be running out of luck, and out of money as well. I didn't have time to get a job, and I was never a very good thief. Killing is what I did best, and killing was how I had gotten enough money to afford the plane ticket to Germany. However, getting victims seemed to become more and more difficult, at least getting victims with money on them.

I didn't stay in France for too long – didn't like the people there. I decided to keep going north. Perhaps she had been further up north? Perhaps I had missed something important when heading to Germany straight away?

¤¤¤

_Gosh I'm tired... I'm tired of the rainy weather, I'm tired of this country, it's inhabitants... I'm tired of not finding anything that can lead me to her... How long have I been here? Like 2 months? I need to move on. I won't find her here._ I quickly make my way out from the cheap hotel I had stayed at lately, down the street and rush in under the sheltering roof at the busstation.

I push back my bangs a bit and ruffle my hair in an attempt to dry it, hoping that the rain hasn't smudged my makeup too much, as I glance at the timetable. _Where to..? Where to..? The airport maybe? From there I could take a plane to somewhere... I hope it won't be too expensive though.. I don't have too much money left. Fucking expensive hotel! Anyway... Which bus should I take to get to the airport? Lets see... Bus number 54 should take me there... _

I lean my back against the wall and close my eyes as the bus isn't due til another 15 minutes.

After a while I can feel someone's eyes on me. Not just one pair of eyes either, but two. I open my eyes slowly and glance to my left where I can see two girls standing. They both look away quickly as they realized I've noticed them and they giggle quietly and whisper to each other.

I just roll my eyes and look away, yawning slightly. I've started to get used to these kind of things. I've realized that I look somewhat exotic compared to the people in this country. And, if you ask me, I look much better than most of them as well. Most of the people here are blonde with blue eyes, though not the same blue colour as mine.

In the beginning I had attracted a lot of unwanted attention, but I've started to learn how to avoid attention as much as possible. Rule number one is "Do **not** show your fangs!".

The girls on my left seem to be arguing about something, and after only a short while one of them approaches me and speaks to me.

-"Har vi träffats förut nånstans?"

-"I'm sorry, I don't understand..." I say, even though I understand what she had said perfectly well. Learning a new language isn't at all very difficult for me, so two months had been more than enough for me to learn swedish.

-"Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't realize you weren't from around here." She says and smiles at me. I simply look at her, not bothering to reply. "Then I suppose my question was kinda stupid... I mean of course we haven't met before if you're not from around here..." She continues to ramble. "Oh, that's right, I asked you if I had met you before, though since you don't speak swedish you didn't understand... Silly question, hehe... Anyway... The thing is, I just kinda thought I recognized you a bit... Are you famous or something? Cause I really feel as if I've met you before and..."

-"Please..." I cut her off. "Just... be quiet. I have no intrest in you. There's nothing you can do for me, so stop waisting my time." She seems kinda taken aback at this.

-"Okay... No need to get all worked up." She says and gives me a weird look. "Idiot." She says over her shoulder as she walks away.

-"I heard that." I reply calmly and give her a sarcastic smile as I step out into the rain again, seeing my bus has just gotten here. She just looks at me puzzled, wondering what I had meant, since she was convinced I hadn't understood what she said.

Once at the airport I manage to sweet talk one of the women working there into giving me a discount, and soon I'm sitting on a plane on my way over to Finland.

So far I haven't encountered any problems with travelling. My fake passport I had gotten myself before flying to Germany has proven worth all the money it had cost. Since I can't remember my own name, and I don't know anything about modern names I had just decided to let the guy I bought it from come up with a suitable name. Though I did say that I wanted the name "Randy", as to honour the memory of the most kind young man in Egypt, so from now on I was "Jacoby Randy Romain". Though I prefer to just call myself Randy, seeing the **real** Randy had been so nice to me.

¤¤¤

When I finally land in Helsinki, Finland it's already past midnight and I'm all out of money. I want to go to sleep, but I can't afford to stay at a hotel.

Once I've gotten out from the airport and into town I just walk down the streets, looking for something. I'm not sure what I'm looking for though, but after a while I find it. It's called a "club", and it's a place where people met up and dance.

There's a huge guy at the door who looks at me closely as I approach him, but after examining me he steps aside and allows me to enter. Once inside I see tons of people dancing to loud, upbeat music. They're dancing in the middle of the large room, at the left side there's couches and tables, and at the right side there's some kind of disk behind which a man stands and seems to be serving people some kind of a drink... No, it seems he's serving them all kinds of drinks, pouring them up from different bottles.

Realizing I'm gonna look ridiculous if I continue to just stand at the entrance, I make my way over to the right side and sit down on one of the chairs in front of the disk. A woman with red curly hair and green eyes is sitting next to me, and the guy behind the disk is just serving her a glass with some red liquid in it as I sit down. He looks at me and asks me something, but I don't understand the language.

-"Uhm... I don't understand..." I say in english, as I know by now that english is the language most people know how to speak.

-"Sorry, I asked you what you would like. So what would you like to drink?" He clarifies.

-"Uhm... Same as her." I say and look over at the woman next to me. She gives me an intrested look and smiles at me. I glance back at her before turning my attention back to the guy behind the disk and watch as he pours the red liquid into a small glass for me. _It kinda looks like blood, though it's too thin, and it doesn't smell anything like blood..._ I take a small sip of it, taking my time to allow the taste of it to spread across my tongue before swallowing it. _Nothing at all like blood, doesn't taste anything in particular anyway..._

-"You're also a fan of Bloody Mary?" The woman next to me asks.

-"What?"

-"Bloody Mary, the drink. That you're drinking, that is." She says and looks at me a bit questioning.

-"Oh...Oooh... Bloody Mary! I thought you said... something else.. Err... Anyway, yeah, I like Bloody Mary." I say, not sounding too convincing. She just laughs a bit at this, and looks at me for a few seconds before she speaks again.

-"Sinulla on kauniit silmät... That would be 'you have beautiful eyes' in finish." She smiles at me.

-"Thank you. So do you." I reply and smile back at her. _Now this could be a soloution to my problem about not having anywhere to stay tonight... People are still way too trusting for their own good._

As I keep talking to her for a while I soon realize that she's flirting with me, but that's just a good thing. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get her outside so that I can kill her and take what little money she has on her. Maybe that will be enough to get myself a hotelroom.

-"This loud music is starting to give me a headache. You wanna come with me back to my appartment?" She asks after a while as she gives me a seductive smile.

-"Your appartment? Why sure..." I say, not all sure what an appartment is, but from what I've understood it's kinda like a hotelroom, but you stay there for longer times.

We get out of the club and the woman, who I had found out is called Tiina, stops a cab for us which we get into. She tells the driver her adress before turning her attention back to me. She starts to lean in closer to me, and I realize she's going to kiss me. _Doesn't matter much. She doesn't look that bad._ Although, as she presses her lips onto mine I kind of feel bad for being unfaithful to **her**.

It doesn't take long before we reach our destination. We get out of the cab and Tiina pays the driver before leading me into the large building in front of us. We get into an elevator and it doesn't take long before it stops at the right floor. Once out of it Tiina unlocks the door to her appartment and leads me into it.

The apprtment isn't too big, but not too small either. It's decorated with dark furniture, and most of the walls are painted in dark colours as well. There's lots of pantings on the walls, one in particular catches my intrest. The motive is of a dark, lonely park, only lit up by the fullmoon. A small girl is sitting on a bench, her back towards me, gazing up at the moon.

-"You like it?" Tiina asks me. I nod. "I made it a few years ago. I like it as well." _She made it herself? It's pretty._ Tiina leads me to her bedroom and pushes me onto her bed, standing at the foot of it, smirking. "You know what I do for a living? I'm an exotic dancer."

-"Oh really?" I simply say, not too certain if an exotic dancer is what I think it is.

-"Yes, really. Want me to dance for you? I could give you a lapdance..."

-"Sure..." I say and flash her a sexy smile. _'Lapdance'? Is that really what it sounds like..? Lap, dance..._ She chuckles a bit as she pulls of the black button up shirt she's wearing.

-"You know... What intrigues me the most about you is your eyes... And your teeth." She leans over the bed moving closer to me again. "Your canine-teeth are like vampire fangs... It's sexy." _Vampire fangs!? She doesn't know, does she? I'm not even sure if there are vampires anymore... I haven't encountered any at least, but maybe there are vampires, since she knows what a vampire is..._ "Now, don't get me wrong..." She starts after noticing my weird face expression. "I don't really believe that vampires exist... But if they did exist, I'm sure they would look just like you; Pale, beautiful... Sexy." She smirks again, and I mentally breathe out. _'I don't believe vampires exist'? So she's heard of vampires, but she doesn't believe in them... Good, she doesn't know I am one then. But does that mean that there are other vampires left?_

-"Now... About that dance..." I say to change the subject as I sit up, tilting my head a bit and giving her a look telling her to continue.

-"Right... The dance." She keeps smirking as she pulls her skirt off, standing before me only in her undergarments. _She has a nice body..._ She starts to move seductively before me, making her way closer to me until she's sitting in my lap. _Heh, I guess I was right about that lapdance thing at least..._ After a while I roll to the side, flipping her over so that I'm ontop of her.

-"Oh, you like to be in charge, eh? Fine by me. I like guys who know what they want..." She chuckles lightly as she pulls off my shirt. "Wow... You have a nice body..." She states after eyeing me closely. I smirk at her before kissing her neck. _Now really... This I haven't been doing in quite a while..._

-"So... You think vampires are sexy..?" I ask her as I pull away a bit. She nods her head smiling.

-"You know all the vampires in movies.. They have this certain... sensuallity about them... When I was younger I had this dream about a vampire. It's kinda silly really..."

-"No no, tell me." I urge her to continue.

-"Okay, but don't laugh at me! Well.. I dreamt that I met a vampire... And we had sex you know... And ever since then, I've had this... 'fantasy' or something about actually 'doing it' with a vampire... See I told you it was silly!" She exclaims as she sees me chuckle a bit at her story. "I told you not to laugh!"

-"Would you be scared if I told you that I am a vampire?" I ask her with a playful smile tugging at my lips. She laughs at this.

-"Haha, why no, not at all. That is my fantasy, isn't it?" She kisses me on my lips, nibbling at my bottom lip a bit. "So are you a vampire then?" She asks, though I can hear that she isn't being serious, she definitely doesn't believe in vampires.

-"Why yes, I am a vampire. Why else would I have fangs?" I ask her jokingly.

-"So, will the vampire kill me then? Or will he just have some 'fun' with me?"

-"Oh, we'll see..." I say and smile before first giving her a kiss on the lips and then planting a trail of soft kisses down to her collarbone and onto her neck, where I bite her lightly as she starts to remove the rest of the clothes we're wearing.

¤¤¤

The next morning I wake up to the bright light shining in through a large window. I open my eyes sleepily.

-"Good morning." I look at Tiina who's lying next to me. "Did you know that you look like an angel when you're asleep?" She asks me smiling. I smile back, my thoughts are elsewhere though. I had a dream just before waking up, and when she called me an angel, it all started to slowly come back to me.

_I was alseep, dreaming of her. She was in a small glade, covered with flowers. There were petals everywhere, and she was running around in them, making them fly all over the place._

_-"I love to watch them glide through the air!" She said. "They look so free." I stepped closer to her and with a small handmovement I made them all take flight at once. _

_She stopped and looked at me. Most of the petals around us were pink, but there were some blue ones as well. The blue ones had the same colour as her blue eye. She looked so beautiful, standing all still in the middle of the glade, with petals flying all around her._

_-"I love you." She said to me before kissing me on my lips softly. When the kiss ended and I opened my eyes the glade and all the petals were gone. The only thing remaining from my dream was her, hovering over me, smiling slightly, and that was all I needed._

_-"Hey."_

_-"Hey there..." She said and gave me a wide smile, looking as if she knew something which I didn't._

_-"What?" I asked as a comment to the huge grin she had plastered all over her face._

_-"Nothing..." She said. "I just like to watch you sleep. You look like a fallen angel. So beautiful and peaceful. The only word that comes to my mind when watching you is 'serenity'..."_

-"Hey? You still there?" Tiina waves a hand in front of my face.

-"Sorry... I just.. remembered something." _Yes, that wasn't just a dream... It was something that had actually happened. It was a memory, wasn't it? _

-"Yeah, I could tell." She smiles. I look at her, with the image of **her** from my flashback still lingering in my mind.

-"I'm sorry... I have to go." I say as I get up from the bed, get dressed and make my way out of the apartment quickly without answering Tiina's questions about "why" and "where to".

_I'm sorry... I let you down. I shouldn't have been with an other woman, it's not right... It's not right to you! I know that I love you... I love you with all my heart. Every single fibre of my body loves you and longs to see you again... But it just feels strange sometimes, cause I can't even remember your name. How am I ever going to find you if I can't even remember who you are? My mind is in chaos. My memories are all chaotic. It's all there, but I just can't place any of them together.. I can't make out the meaning in them... So you think I'm 'serenity'? I'm not. I'm 'Chaos' rather. You, however could be 'Serenity'... I know my mind would be put at rest if I found you. I know the chaos and everything would go away, and I would remember if I just found you... I don't know why I know.. I Just do. Serenity..._

* * *


	3. Deviously deviant

This chapter is almost as uneventful as the two previous ones, although the second most important character will be introduced in this one.  
Bear with me please. Things will start happening soon, and quite a lot of history will be unfolded.

* * *

**Chapter 3, Deviously deviant**

It's raining again so I take my refugee in a small but cozy café. It's about lunchtime, so it's kinda crowded in here.

I sit down by the only table that's avaliable, not too far from the door. A waitress comes up to me and asks me what I want, and I order a coffee. I can drink and eat normal food, and it would look weird if I just sit here without ordering anything.

After I had left Tiinas appartment, I felt that I just needed to get away. I needed to get away from her, from my thoughts and from my mistakes. I got to the busstation and jumped on the first bus that came. It took me here. A new city, new people, new opportunities.

After only a few minutes the door to the café opens, letting the cold air inside. I'm staring down into my coffee, my mind somewhere completely different. However, my focus is drawn back to the real world as I hear someone speak. I look up into a pair of green eyes, they look questioning.

-"Sorry, I don't understand finish..." I say, and the owner of the eyes smiles apologetically. _Great, an other idiot here to waste my time._

-"Ah, no, I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't know. Haha. Anyway, what I asked was if I can sit down here?" He says and points to the chair opposite of me. "You see, the café is packed full, and you're the only one in here that looks... somewhat my style." He continues when I don't answer.

-"Sure. Sit down." I simply reply, my voice sounding completely unitrested. More unintrested than I find myself being when he ignores my tone and flashes me a smile as he takes off his jacket and seats himself opposite of me.

As the waitress comes to take his order I study him closer. His brilliant green eyes are lined rather heavily by black eyeliner, and his bangs constantly fall into them. His hair is cut in a similar way to mine, only his bangs are a lot shorter and his hair is very spiked at the back of his head. My hair is just looking a bit messy right now, since I haven't done anything with it. He's wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt and black, faded, kinda torn jeans with a studded belt. Around his neck he's wearing a rather thick silver chain, and at both arms he has thick leather bracelets. His green eyes seems to sparkle with joy of life, and his lips are slightly curled into a smile, showing his white teeth.

Overall, this guy looks good. I just seem to like people with this kind of style, that's why I had chosen it for myself, but it's not only his style that looks good, he does too. _He is quite beautiful. Not as beautiful as I am though, but he's beautiful in an other way. In a more human, natural way._

Once the waitress has taken his order and gone away he shifts his focus back to me.

-"Oh, I'm sorry, I dind't even introduce myself properly, hehe. I'm Vivian, and no, that's not a girls name. Guys can be named that too!" He says with a smile on his face, almost as if he had assumed I would incline that it is, in fact, a girls name.

-"Right. I'm Randy." I reply, raising a brow. "And I sure hope that's not a girls name either then..." I add, which makes Vivian laugh.

-"Haha, nah, I don't think it is. I've never met a girl called Randy at least."

-"But you have met a girl called Vivian then?" I ask. He nods and smiles.

-"Yeah. Only it wasn't spelled the same way. ...I think."

-"Here you go..." The waitress places his order on the table; a larg cup of coffee and a baugette. He starts eating and I take a sip of my own coffee as silence falls upon us.

-"So... I take it that you're not from around here? Since you don't know finish..." He explains as I eye him suspiciously.

-"No. I'm not. I'm from Egypt actually..." I say and he looks at me rather surprised.

-"Really? I would never have guessed! I mean, I don't know much about Egypt, but most people there are rather ugly, aren't they? ...Oh, I'm sorry, I must've offended you now! I didn't mean to say that you're ugly or anything, cause you're not. Hell, you look really good, if you want my oppinion..." He says as he gives me a flirty smile, which make me a bit surprised, which he must've noticed. "Oh, I'm sorry... You must think I'm really weird, right?"

-"Yeah." I nod but smile at him, and he laughs again. I decide that I like this guy, but I don't intend to show it. He has this very cheery aura around him. It makes me forget my troubles and worries for a while. Most people that I have met so far has given me strange looks and distanced themselves from me, but not this guy, even though I am pretty much giving him the cold shoulder and not paying much intrest to him. Seeing he's still chatting away with me amuses me somewhat. _You're not quite like other people, are you, Vivian? I wonder if he's ignoring the unintrested tone of my voice, or if he's just not noticing it?_ I decide to play along and keep the conversation going, to see where it will lead. Besides, I feel mysef drawn to him in some strange way, making me want to get to know him. To figure him out. To get to know his weaknesses, his fears and his flaws, so that I can use that knowledge and play it against him. Why? Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do right now, and I might as well try my best to amuse myself somehow.

-"Not to scare you or anything, but yes, I am bisexual. You probably figured that out already though, since I said that you look good and all. Yeah..." He explains. _Bisexual? Am I supposed to know what that is? "Not to scare you or anything"? As if you could ever do that._

-"You don't scare me." I reply, my voice sounding more sarcastic than I intended. Vivian doesn't seem bothered by it, though.

-"What are you doing here then? Not to pry or anything... I'm just curious, but you don't have to answer."

-"Actually, I'm looking for someone." I say, tilting my head and looking at him, hoping that maybe he would know anything about **her**, even though I know the chances are slim, if there even is a chance at all.

-"Oh aren't we all..." He says jokingly and chuckles a bit. I don't chuckle, laugh, or even smile. Mostly because I don't understand the joke. "Anyway, who?"

-"Well, that's the thing. I... uhm. I can't remember who she is." I say, deciding that I trust this Vivian. He seems like a nice guy, and telling him some stuff from my past would probably not be too dangerous. Besides, if he proves to be a problem, I can get rid of him without much of a fuss. He laughs when I saythat I don't remember though.

-"Well I bet it's difficult finding someone when you don't know who you're looking for. But why don't you remember? You met her at a party and were too drunk to remember her or something?" _Why does everyone assume that I'm some kinda drunken person? Do I really seem that strange? I better improve my acting a bit._

-"No. I met her in Egypt. It was a long time ago. I... uhm. I had an accident, which caused me to lose my memories. So I can't remember who she is, I only know that she's important to me. The only thing I can remember is her face..." _I'm still a good liar, though._

-"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway... Is she pretty?" He asks smiling.

-"I wouldn't say that she's 'pretty', but rather **beautiful**. Long black hair, big eyes that always sparkle of life. Oh, and she has one blue eye and one black. Perfect lips, perfect skin... Although she's a bit short." I describe her just as I saw her in my memories, and Vivian nods and chuckles when I say that she's short.

-"Different colour of her eyes? That's not too common. It's probably details like that which will prove useful if you're asking around for her. She sounds really beautiful though."

-"She is. Everything about her is perfect. She kinda reminds me of you though, always happy." I say a bit jokingly and Vivian smiles again, seeming glad that I finally opened up, since I had been completely serious and even a bit stiff up to now.

-"I'll take that as a compliment. But, you said you lost your memories.. Did you lose **all** memories, or just some?"

-"All. But a few have started to come back to me. Though only sequences. That's why I need to find her, Serenity, cause I know that she holds the key to my memories." I explain.

-"Serenity? Is that her name?"

-"No, that's only what I call her. It was just weird saying '**her**' all the time, so I'm going with Serenity until I can remember her name again. I mean, I can't even remember my own name." He throws me a confused glance at this. "My passport says Jacoby Randy Romain though. My **fake** passport." I add.

-"Fake passport eh? You know, your story is rather... cool. It's like something that would be shown on TV. Very dramatic." He laughs.

-"Don't laugh at me." I reply, giving him a warning glare.

-"Sorry, no offense. I just find it all very cool. You must be the most intresting person I've ever met!"

We keep talking like that for another half hour or so. Vivian is very intrested in my story, and when I tell him that I have litterally forgotten everything he says that he feels sorry for me, and if there's anything I don't understand I should just ask him. So I start with asking him what "bisexual" means. He laughs a bit as he looks down at the table, seeming to be thinking about which words to use for a moment, before he explains it to me.

-"Oh." I reply, trying to recall distant and faint memories. Vivian gives me a questioning look. "You're probably the first guy that has ever come on to me." I explain.

-"Really? Hah, I don't believe that. Everyone must be hitting on you all the time. I mean, you do look **really** good! I'd still be hitting on you if I didn't know that you were in love with Serenity. But that would probably bother you." He says the last sentence a bit more seriously than the previous ones.

-"It wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't mind." I quickly comment. I'm not sure why I said it, maybe I just like the attention? Vivian smiles at me again before looking at his watch quickly.

-"I kinda have to go in a few minutes, I have band practice." He explains, sounding a bit regretfull and sad all of a sudden.

-"Oh, I see..." I say, actually a bit sad that he has to leave so soon. I was just beginning to have fun with him.

-"But hey, you know what? You could come if you want to? It won't take too long, and afterwards I could show you some cool shopping places." He sounds as cheery as ever again. It seems nothing can ruin his good mood.

-"Yeah, sure, that'd be great." I say and accept, even though I'm not sure what 'band practice' is. Though it's not like I have anything better to do, so I might as well stick around and find out. We pay the waitress and leave shortly thereafter.

I soon figure out what band practice means, and now afterwards it seems quite obvious. Vivian is in a "band", and they meet and "practice" playing instruments and singing together. All in all, it's called "music". Nothing new there, really. I had listened to a lot of music when I lived, only, that kind of music was very different from what was being played nowadays.

I had listened to some modern music before, mostly because I had found an mp3-player when going through Randys pockets. It had taken me some time to figure out how the thing worked, but I was glad that I had found it, since I learned to appreciate it quickly. I was rather sad when it ran out of batteries though.

I actually like the way the music Vivians band plays sounds. It's slightly similar to the music on Randys mp3, but not all the same.

After they're all done pacticing the other guys leave. Vivian had introduced us before they had started practice, but I've already forgotten everyones names.

I stay in the practice room as Vivian goes upstairs to say goodbye to the rest. It's a rather large cellar they've rented from someone. In there they have a couch, a few chairs and such, and some of their instruments.

At one of the walls there's a large banner hanging. It has pictures of the whole band, and they have all written their names on it.

-"I'm just trying to remember everyones names." I explain when I realize that Vivian is back, and is studying me.

-"You forgot already?" He teases.

-"Yeah, I have a terrible memory, remember?" I say, sounding only half serious.

-"Right, right. I guess that I can't expect you to remember their names when you don't even remember your own."

-"Exactly."

-"Well, I believe I told you that I'd show you some great stores and stuff? Still want a tour of the city?"

-"Yeah, sure."

-"Anyway, how long are you in town? And where are you staying?" Vivian asks me when we're done with our little tour and have gotten seated in a café.

-"Actually I don't know how long I'll stay." I start as I sip my coffee carefully, making sure it's not too hot. "And I'm not staying anywhere at the moment. I spent the night at some girl's house. Hooked up with her last night when I arrived here. So I guess I have to find a hotel or something."

-"Well, you could stay at my place, if you want to..." He says and I'm not sure if he's being serious or not. "But maybe that was a bit too straightforward of me. I mean, we've only known each other for like a few hours. For all you know I could be some crazy ass psycho killer, haha!" _Well, I believe that it's rather the opposite. For all __**you**__ know __**I **__could be a crazy ass psycho killer. Maybe I am? Am I? Am I a killer? Am I heartless?_ "But seriously, if you have nowhere else to go you could stay at my place." He continues, drawing me away from my thoughts. I'm quiet for a while, thinking about it, but realizing that I don't have enough money to afford a room at a hotel, I decide that it would probably be my best option - if not my **only** option.

-"Yeah, actually that would be really really nice of you. It would save me a lot of trouble." _I can spend the night with him, or at least most of the night. Then I can take his money and be out of there before he even realizes what's happened. And if all else fails, I can just kill him._

-"Cool. Finish your coffee and we'll start heading over there. It's not that far away, but it's easiest to take a bus there." So we finish our coffee rather swiftly and Vivian, being the nice guy he is, pays for both of us.

The busstop is just across the street, and we don't have to wait for long until the bus comes there. The bus is rather crowded however, so I end up sitting next to some girl who's talking to what seems to be two of her friends sitting in front of us. Vivian has to sit in the back, between two elderly ladies. He gives me evil glares as I snicker at him when the ladies start talking rather loudly to each other. He puts two of his fingers to his head, like a gun, and pretends to shoot himself when they seem to start talking about something gross. I shake my head at him and laugh before I turn my head back around to look straight ahead again. That's when I notice the girl next to me glancing at me and smiling shyly every now and then, in between when she's talking to her friends.

When the bus stops a few stops after the one we had gotten on at, a guy across from me, on the other side of the aisle gets off, and Vivian hurries up to take his place.

-"What, you got tired of the nice ladies?" I ask him smirking, and he pretends to give me a cold glare and tells me to shut up. Then he seems to notice the girl next to me, and he starts to listen to their conversation. After only a short while he takes up his cellphone, and types something on it. He hands it over to me when he's done, and I look at the small screen.

They don't think either of us understand finish, haha.  
The girl next to you is saying that you're hot, and the  
ones up front are urging her to talk to you, haha :P

I hand him back his phone after reading what he had typed and give him a weird look, though he just responds with a smirk.

At the next stop the guy next to Vivian gets off, so he moves in to the seat next to the widow, so that I can take the seat next to him. The girl I had been sitting next to looks a bit disappointed, and her friends in front of her seems to be teasing her. Vivian snickers and leans over to me, whispering in my ear.

-"Her friends are saying that she was stupid not to talk to you, and letting you 'off the hook'. Haha. And she's defending herself with saying that a guy like you probably would have had a girlfriend." I smile a little, feeling a bit flattered. After only a few seconds I can see Vivians face light up as he smiles broadly. "I just came up with a great idea!" He whispers to me, his eyes glowing mischievously.

-"What?"

-"Well, the girl said that she thought you had a girlfriend... Why not make some fun of her?"

-"What do you mean?" I ask, raising a brow suspiciously.

-"Well, since she was sure you had a **girl**friend, why not pretened that you have a **boy**friend?" He says with an evil grin spread across his face. I give him a rather sarcastic look before asking him just how he had planned on doing that. "Why I'll kiss you, of course!" He explains, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I chuckle a bit, giving him a glance as to ask him if he's just joking, but the look in his eyes is dead serious.

-"Ah, fine. Sure, go ahead." I sigh and the wide grin returns to his face once again. _Such a lousy excuse just to get to kiss me. Couldn't you come up with anything better, Vivian? _We sit back like normal again, and Vivian keeps listening to the conversation the girls are having, whispering short reports to me every now and then to fill me in.

After a while he seems to have decided that the "right moment" has come, and he leans a bit forward, pushing me back into my seat and starts to lean in. This definintely catches the girls's attention, and all of them look rather surprised when Vivian presses his lips against mine. I close my eyes and try my best not to laugh at first, but after a while I just relax and start kissing him back. _This feels somewhat familliar, and strangely nice. Almost as if I've done this before, or at least something similar..._ I put one of my arms around his neck, pulling him a bit closer, and I know that he's smiling as I do this. He moves his lips away from mine just enough so that the girls can see him run his tongue across my lips. I open my eyes and glance over at the girls quickly. All three of them are staring at us wide-eyed, so I have to close my eyes quickly to avoid laughing.

Vivian pulls away shortly thereafter, pressing the stop-button, informing me that we're getting off at the next stop. As we get up and start to make our way off the bus, the three girls all turn their heads after us, and as we walk past them to the exit doors, Vivian says something in finish, which makes all of them blush and look away.

-"What did you say?" I ask as we've gotten off the bus and start to walk away.

-"I told them we weren't really gay." He says and I laugh at this, realizing what a total shock that must've been for the girls to hear, since they thought that neither of us understood finish. Vivian is getting more and more fascinating for each passing minute, it seems. _What an intresting person. He reminds me of myself in some aspects._

After walking for only a few minutes we reach an appartment building which we make our way into. Vivian lives at the fifth floor, so we take the elevator up there. Once up he unlocks the door and lets me in, showing me where I can hang my jacket.

-"Uhm, it's a bit messy up here right now. I haven't really had the time for cleaning lately, though please, make yourself at home. Anyway, you hungry?" He asks as he heads into the kitchen to take a look in the refridgerator.

-"Not really..." I reply as I have a look around in the appartment. It's not very large, but it's not very small either. The kitchen, to the right when you enter, is fairly large, with a dining table for four. Straight ahead is the living room, where in one of the corners there's a rather large couch, and a TV with some videogames around it. In the opposite corner of the room there's a computer, some speakers, a guitarr and some other electronic stuff which I don't recognize. My knowledge of modern technology isn't that up to date yet. Next to the computer is a set drums as well.

-"You sure you're not hungry?" Vivian asks as he enters the livingroom with a sandwich in his handn, and I shake my head in response. He makes his way over to the couch, throws away some clothes and stuff that are in the way and flips down on it. I follow his initiative, clearing some space on the couch as Vivian turns on the TV. He flips through the channels, though there's nothing intresting on, so we end up playing videogames instead. I pretty much suck at all of them, since I've never ever played one before, but of course I can't tell Vivian that.

-"I just suck at these kinda things..." I explain.

-"Yeah, so do I. I'm not good with my fingers. Except for when it comes to playing the guitarr." He says and smiles. "Can you play any instrument by the way? I forgot to ask you earlier."

-"Well, not really. I mean, I don't really remember..."

-"Oh, right... I forgot." He says and gives me an apologetic look, however his face soon lights up with a smile again. "I guess there's only one way to find out though. You could try playing some." He continues as he gets up from the couch and heads over to the guitarr and the drums, motioning for me to follow. "What do you wanna try, drums or guitarr?"

-"Whichever is easier." I reply, and he chuckles a bit.

-"Well, personally I think that it's easier to learn to play the drums. But that's just me."

-"Well, I suppose I'll try that then." I reply and Vivian nods. He starts with showing me some easy beats to play, and I soon start to get the hang of it – it's not at all as difficult as I had thought it would be, or maybe I'm just a natural?

Time just seems to fly by, and before we know it, it's starting to get late, and the neighbours are starting to get tired of our noise, so we decide it probably would be best to call it a day.

-"You could sleep on the couch I guess, but otherwise I have a really large bed, so we could share. Unless you think that's intimidating or something." Vivian says teasingly as we're getting ready to go to bed. We end up sharing his bed, because we realize it would take ages to clean the couch off enough for me to sleep on it.

As we're lying in bed, Vivian tells me a bit more about himself, and we talk about what's happened during the day.

-"Though the funniest thing was definitely the girls on the bus..." Vivian says and I laugh slightly.

-"Oh yeah. That was fun." I agree. Vivian rolls over so that he's facing me and looks at me with that mischievous look in his eyes again. "What?" I ask, raising a brow.

-"You're a good kisser." He starts, and I know that there's a 'but' coming. "Though I didn't get any tongue." He adds after a while and pouts, which makes me laugh a bit, seeing it's not quite what I had expected to hear. "Don't laugh." He starts, but he's laughing a bit himself.

-"Are you sad because you got no tongue?" I ask with a fake voice, and he nods and pretends to be on the verge of tears.

-"Mhmm... What are you gonna do about it? You've gotta cheer me up..." He continues, and he's having some trouble with maintaining his sad act, being about to laugh.

-"Do I have to do something? I was planning on simply ignoring you." I joke and he pouts again.

-"Meh! Fine." He rolls over, pretending to be hurt. I sigh, grab his arm to roll him onto his back again before I press my lips onto his. He seems a bit surprised at first, but it doesn't take long until he's kissing me back, and this time there's lots of tongue.

-"Are you happy again now?" I ask teasingly as I slowly pull away from him. He smiles but shakes his head.

-"You're such a tease." He says and I raise an eyebrow at this. "Kissing me all of a sudden like that. Now I only want more. Teaser." The tone of his voice is light, joking, but a part of him seems serious. I don't say anything at this, I'm lost in thoughts. _Is this also unfair to Serenity? I mean, I am kissing someone else.. But it's just for fun, it doesn't mean anything... Therefore it doesn't count, right? No, it doesn't count. After all, I'm only doing this because Vivian might prove useful. And besides, it's fun to toy with him like this. I'm only doing it because it's fun. _I'm soon pulled away from my thoughts by Vivian waving a hand in front of my face.

-"Huh?"

-"You really spaced out there..." He says, and I nod. We're both silent for a while before Vivian speaks again. "Can I get another kiss though?" I snicker a bit, but lean back over him, kissing him again. The kiss is rather soft at first, no tongue, just our lips barely touching, but Vivian places an arm around my neck, deepening the kiss. A few minutes later I'm lying ontop of him, and we're still kissing. This seems to last for several hours, though it's probably just a matter of a few minutes. _It's funny how time works like that..._

Once we stop kissing I'm still lying ontop of him, my head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

-"I knew you would warm up to me sooner or later." His voice is soft, and for once it holds a rather serious tone.

-"Hm?"

-"You acted all cold and distant in the beginning, but I knew that you would warm up to me if you only gave me a chance. I'm glad that you finally decided to drop the act and show your true self." _You have no idea how far, yet close to the truth you are._

-"I guess I'm just a bad actor." I reply, trying to sound casual, even though my statement is far from the truth. After all, I'm even acting now, without Vivian realizing it. _Doesn't that make me a good actor? But why am I even bothering with acting? Why am I being nice to him like this? Why do I even like being nice to him? And why am I so happy when I'm with him? I haven't felt like this at all during the 2 months I've been back.. At least not before I met him. Is it his cheery aura that's effecting me, or is it something else? It's like his happiness is contagious. Why am I drawn to him, anyway? Is it because he's different from the rest? Kind of just like me, if you think about it, right? A deviant, one who doesn't feel like he truly belongs._


	4. Seductive schemes

This chapter is mostly meant for character and relation development. It was written simply because Randy needs to think, otherwise the story won't ever be heading anywhere. Plus, he and Vivian needs to get a chance to let their relation grow, and I needed to have some time to pass in the story. (I hate doing time gaps. I'd rather have a somewhat slow story, than one that jumps all the time.)

The next chapter will be more intresting, though. That's a promise.

Note that so far, all chapters have been named something with two words in it, each sharing the same first letter. It wasn't even intentionally at first. I just kind of noticed now, and changed the name of the first chapter to match. I wonder for how long I can keep it up o.O

* * *

**Chapter 4, Seductive schemes**

When I open my eyes the next morning, Vivian isn't there anymore. I sit up slowly, yawning and stretching a bit. I lazily look out through the window at my left. It's still raining. _Does it always rain in Scandinavia?_

I hear a door open and soon Vivian comes into the bedroom, wearing nothing but a towel.

-"You know, I have a question..." He starts as he goes over to a closet and starts to pull out various articles of clothing from it.

-"Mhmm?"

-"So you're like travelling and everything, to find this Serenity, right?"

-"Right."

-"Then why don't you have any luggage?" He asks as he turns to face me, his eyebrows furrowed. _Shit. Why don't I have any luggage? Think fast._

-"It got lost." I lie. Vivians face expression seems a bit at ease at this.

-"Aah... At the airport?"

-"Yeah, at the airport."

-"Well that's typical them. Happens all the time, they never do anything about it though. I'm assuming that you don't have a change of clothes, you wanna borrow some of mine?"

-"Yeah, that would be great." I reply. I actually feel a bit relieved, since I've been thinking about my clothing dilemma for a while now.

-"Well, you're a bit shorter than me, but I'm sure I'll find something that will fit you. You go on and have a shower and I'll find something for you in the mean time." I nod and get up, heading into the bathroom.

The mirror is covered in steam, but I wipe some away and look at myself in the mirror. My light blue eyes look tired, but burning with determination. They don't have any of that lively spark that Vivians have. His eyes look warm, nice... Mine look more cold. Dead. I'm rather surpised that people these days are so trusting. Neither Tiina nor Vivian seems to even have started to suspect that I'm not human, even though I've gotten so close to them both.

I know that people will figure things out eventually though, if I stay around for too long. Therefore, I have to leave Vivian soon, before he gets suspicious. The minute he finds out, I'll have to kill him, and I really don't want that. It's not that easy for me to admit that I like Vivian. He's nice and funny. He makes me forget about things, and makes me focus on simply living, and enjoying myself. Most people I've met up until now haven't left much of an impression on me, but Vivian has. By some reason, I know that I'll regret it if I kill him.

I shake my head as I pull off what little clothes I have on, and step into the shower, turning the hot water on, allowing it to rinse away all thoughts.

Once I've stepped out of the shower and dried myself off, I go back into the bedroom and find a pile of clothes for me on the bed. I examine them as I pull them on. There's a rather tight black t-shirt, with a print in white text saying "Keep smoking, I want you to die.", a pair of black jeans and a black hoodie, with what seems to be a band logo at the back.

After pulling all of the clothes on I venture into the kitchen, where I find Vivian sitting by the table, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. I pour myself a cup of coffee as well and sit down opposite of him.

-"There should be at least some food in the fridge, just grab whatever you want." He says, not looking up from behind the paper.

-"I'm not really hungry." I say. He finally looks up at me.

-"Seriously, you haven't eaten anything at all since I met you, which by now is about 24 hours ago. You need to eat something." I bite my lip slightly, about to protest, but I realize it would just make him suspicious.

-"Fine, fine. I'll get a sandwhich or something."

-"Good boy." He smiles and goes back to reading his newspaper. I slowly make myself a sandwich, with the help and instructions about where to find things from Vivian. I sit down at the table again, eating it slowly, not really feeling any taste at all. _What a complete waste... I could never explain not eating to him though. I need to get away before he gets suspicious._

_¤¤¤_

-"What now?" I ask as I stare up at the ceiling.

-"Hm?" Vivain turns around on the couch so that he can look at me as I lay there on my back.

-"What happens now?" I clarify.

-"I don't know. What happens now? What was your plan when coming to Finland anyway?" I close my eyes and sigh. _My plan? I didn't have one, did I? When I decided to find Serenity, I didn't even think about the fact that it might take me some while. I didn't think about what to do until I found her. How to manage, how to survive. Living like I did when I was in Sweden, killing for money so that I could afford a new hotel room each night, I got tired of it. I don't want that now. I need something better, something less risky. I'll probably have to stay here in Finland for a while, until I figure out what to d and where to go. Until I get a new lead to follow up. The world seems to be a far bigger place than I ever suspected, and Serenity might be anywhere._

-"I guess I didn't have a plan." I sigh. "I have nowhere to go. I have nothing. I own nothing. I don't know anyone. I don't even know myself! It's just starting to get to me now..." I continue, thinking out loud. Vivian sit up straight, looking at me.

-"You really have no one?" He asks. I shake my head. "Wow, I didn't like, realize your situation until now. You have no one back in Egypt either? No family? Friends?" I shake my head again. Memories of my lifesyle has started to return to me now, bits and pieces of them. But there's still no clues to who I am, or to how I'm supposed to find Serenity.

-"I had been living alone for several years, not seeing anyone at all before Serenity came into my life. Or well... there was someone else." I hesitate. "I vaguely remember a tall man with long, black hair. I think it's an old friend of mine... But that's all I remember. And that was long ago. I don't even know if he's still alive. I don't know his name, and I don't even fully remember his face." Vivian nods slowly at this. I sit up, staring out into nothing. "What am I supposed to do?" The realization just suddenly crashes down onto me; I have nowhere to go, no one to turn to, and nothing to do._ If I at least knew someone. Someone I could talk to, and someone who could help me. Someone I could share my secrets with. Someone like me; a vampire. But I don't have anyone like that. I have no one. All I have is emptiness and shattered memories that make no sense._

-"Hey... Hey now..." Vivian doesn't seem to know what to say as he moves closer to me slowly. He puts an arm around my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me. "Look, I'm sure things will turn out okay. You can stay here if you want to. I could help you get a job and stuff, and once you're back on your feet, we can go from there, okay?" I turn my head and look into Vivians concerned green eyes. _Why does he care so much for me? He doesn't even know me. He doesn't know anything about me. He doesn't know what I am. Why does he care? Because I'm beautiful? Because he's attracted to me? Or is he just plain stupid?_

I bite my lip slightly as my gaze moves from Vivians eyes to his neck. I can see the blood pulsing through his veins before me, and I realize that I haven't fed in quite some time. I had been planning on killing Tiina, but I never got down to business. Vivian is saying something again, but I'm not listening anymore. All I can focus on is his bare neck in front of me. I lean a bit closer, parting my lips slightly, licking them. _It would be so easy to kill him. He trusts me so blindly. I can just reach out and grab him, he's just so close... so close... it would be so... easy... to..._

-"No!" I snap, pulling away from him quickly, closing my eyes and shaking my head.

-"Randy? You okay?"

-"I..." I stand up, looking around frantically. "I need to go."

-"Where? What for?"

-"I'm sorry, I just really need to get out." I start to stumble towards the door, pulling my shoes on and grabbing my jacket. Vivian follows me.

-"Right. No need to apologize." He tries to sound neutral, but I can clearly hear that he's very confused. "You go do whatever it is you need to do. I'll be at home all day, so if you... well... you can just drop by, you know?" He says, his voice quite and a bit sad.

-"Sorry." I say and quickly leave, before I have any time to think about the fact that his neck is just in perfect height for me to dig my fangs into, that no one is around to witness it, and that I can be gone long before anyone will suspect me.

¤¤¤

I drive my fangs into the neck of my victim again, creating new puncture wounds, biting as hard as I can, pretty much ripping bits and pieces of the flesh from her neck. The blood is running down my throat, down her neck, and down my hands which are holding onto her tightly, not wanting to let go of the sweet source of life. I bite her again, fiercely, digging my nails into her chest. She's as good as dead now anyway, not being able to resist and scream any longer. She just hangs there, lifeless, in my arms.

I toss her to the ground, spitting out a bit of her flesh from my mouth as I lean onto one of the cold, grey walls in the ally. I stand there for a few minutes, my eyes rolling, hands clenching, and my whole body shaking from the ecstacy-like rush of blood. I close my eyes, letting the pouring rain wash away the blood from my hands and face. I'm soaked since long ago, but it doesn't bother me the least, I hardly even feel the coldness against my skin. I don't feel anything at all, nothing but the satisfaction of killing, and the aftermath of my rush.

I sigh slightly, smirking a bit as I look down at my victim. _Not the cleanest kill. I'll have to be more discreet from now on. If I keep going like this, people will get suspicious soon. And next time, I'll have to feed earlier. I can't wait as long as I did now. I'll get too careless._

I take one last look at the woman on the ground before making my way out of the ally, checking so that no one is around to witness me leave. _Oh well, no one will miss her anyway, she was a prostitute after all._

At least now I've fed, so now I can think a bit clearer about my situation. I lean my back against a shop window, seeking shelter from the rain. The shop has closed long ago, and there's not much people walking the streets in this weather this late, so I'm pretty much free to get lost in thoughts. _I've gotten some money from the prostitute, but not nearly enough at all to be able to rent a hotel room and buy new clothes as well, and right now, I kinda need both. So if I don't want to pick someone random up at a club or something, my best option is to go back to Vivian. If I play my cards right, I'll be able to stay with him without him finding out that I'm a vampire. He has some money, a decent appartment, and he's fun to be around. I could do so much worse. Yes, Vivian will be my best option, by far. Besides, he seems to be fairly intrested in me anyway, and not only in the friendly type of way. I can use this to my advantage... Yes, going back to Vivian it is. ...Though, just how am I supposed to explain my sudden outburst to him?_

_¤¤¤_

I drag my feet out from the elevator, where a small puddle of rainwater has formed on the floor, and slowly walk towards Vivians door. I hold up my hand slowly, hesitating before knocking it softly. The door opens within matters of seconds and I'm face to face with a rather happy Vivian. Once he takes in my drenched and sad state, his smile quickly fades though.

-"God, you're soaked! You must be cold." He grabs my arm and pulls me inside, closing the door as he's starting to pull my jacket off. I kick off my shoes and allow him to drag me into the bathroom where he proceeds with pulling my sweater off. He hands me a couple of towels to dry myself with.

-"Thanks." My voice is quiet, almost inaudible, and emotionless.

-"Shit, you're cold as death! Not to mention pale..." Vivian exclaims as he helps my to dry my back. _That's right. I stopped rushing the blood through my veins once I left his appartment._ I've figured out how to make the blood in my system run through my veins, heating up my body and making me appear as good as normal long ago. As long as no one is touching me, it doesn't matter if I'm cold or not, but now that I'm here, I need to put my mortal act on again.

-"Viv..." I whisper, forcing his attention to something else than my cold skin.

-"Hm?" He stops drying me off and looks down at me instead. I must looked rather pathetic, sitting there all soaked, my hair tousled and the remnants of yesterdays makeup all over my cheeks.

-"I'm sorry."

-"You don't need to apologize." Vivian says softly as he crouches down so that his eyes are in level with mine. "I'm sure that you have your reasons for everything you do. I mean... I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, so I'm not gonna judge you or anything. I understand perfectly well that there's a lot in your head right now, and I guess I can kinda understand what it must be like, even though I probably won't ever feel the way you do now."

-"Vivian, you don't know anything about me. I don't understand why you even care about me, but I'm glad that you do. I mean, I guess I can pretty much say that you're all I have now, even though I've only known you for a day. But... You don't know me. You don't know..." My voice trails off, seeing I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this. "I have some secrets, Viv. Some dark secrets. Stuff you're better off not knowing anything about. The less you know, the better. If I start telling you about it, you might be in danger." _And not even a word of that is a lie. Or well, the part about me not knowing why he cares is partially a lie I suppose. I think I'm starting to figure him out now. He's just attracted to me... But that's not the point. The point is, I don't even know if there are vampires anymore. But if there are, I bet that they don't want to be known, so if Viv were to find out that I am a vampire, his life could be in danger. At least it would be if things in the vampire society work as they used to... And since I honestly don't know, I can't take any chances._

I look into Vivians eyes, trying to figure out what's going through his head right now. He's smiling a bit as he reaches up to touch my cheek.

-"You **are** by far the most intresting person I've ever met."

¤¤¤

-"You see, I work at this record store. It's called Rockzone, and it's like a record store for alternative music only. The other guy who works there, Mika, just recently had a car accident. Very unfortunate for him, but rather fortunate for you, since the manager, Eddie, is looking for someone to take Mikas place."

-"And..?" I question, not seeing where Vivian is going with all this.

-"And that someone would be you." He clarifies.

-"Viv, I don't know anything about music."

-"Yeah, sure you do. Besides, you don't have to know that much to be able to work in a store. And you'll learn quickly, I know that for a fact." He continues, probably referring to when we were playing drums the other night. He kept claiming that I was a very fast learner, managing with things that took several tries and lots of practice for others. "Besides, you need the money, right?"

-"I suppose so." I agree.

-"Then it's settled. Tomorrow is Monday, which means that I'll be working, so you can come with me and we'll talk to Eddie. How does that sound?"

-"Great." I say, but I don't sound too enthustiatic, which Vivian notices.

-"I know things aren't looking so great right now, but it'll change, you'll see. After rain, there's always sunshine. And it can't rain all the time, right?"

-"It seems it can here at least." I state grimly.

-"Oh come on, it's just been raining for three days straight. It's just three days, not forever." _What would you know about forever?_

-"Well it's been raining ever since I got here." I point out. Vivian just smiles and shakes his head.

-"Come on, this is my favorite store, I'm sure we'll find some nice clothes for you to buy here. Cause you do need some clothes, right? I mean, don't expect to get your luggage back from the airport any time soon. For all we know, it can be on it's way to Hungary as we speak." He starts to pull me away across the street, dragging me into a store.

-"Viv, I really can't afford-"

-"Well I'm paying. You can pay me back when you get your first salary." He cuts me off, smiling.

-"I haven't even gotten the job yet, Viv."

-"Oh, you will. No worries. Anyway..." He starts as he goes over to a rack of sweaters, going through them, looking for something nice. "Did you lose anything of importance with your luggage?"

-"I'm not sure. I haven't thought about it yet I suppose."

-"Well think about it now then. Anything you're missing except for clothes? Wallet? Cellphone?"

-"I have my wallet..." _Well, I have someones elses wallet at least._ "But no, I don't have a cellphone."

-"Oh, we need to get you one then. So that I can get a hold of you if you decide to run away like that again." He smiles and hands me a sweater. "Here, try this one on."

¤¤¤

-"Don't worry about the cash register for now. We'll both be working for the first week, so you have plenty of time to learn how it works before you'll be here alone. For now, just try to learn which section has what kind of music so that you can help customers, okay?" Vivian smiles at me from behind the counter and I nod slowly, smiling back at him. Getting the job hadn't been difficult at all, since Eddie seemed to be a nice guy, and any friend of Vivian was apparantly a friend of his as well.

Vivian has told me to pick out a CD that I want to listen to, so now I'm going through the different sections, searching for something to catch my intrest. My gaze stops at a CD that reads 'Blutengel' on top. Judging from what little german I know, I come to the conclusion that it means 'Bloodangel'. _Perfect._ I take the CD with me back to the counter where Vivian is just finishing helping a customer. I hand him the CD and he looks at it and smiles slightly.

-"I went by the name." I explain.

-"I know this band, they're pretty good. This is one of their best albums, if you ask me. 'Seelenschmerz'. It means 'Soulpain', you know." He turns around, taking the CD out of its cover and pushes it into a small stereo behind the counter. Soon, the first track can be heard through the speakers. "Next CD is my pick." He smiles.

-"Is this what you do all day?"

-"When I'm not at home, asleep, or at band practice, yes." He nods. "It's not as bad as it seems. Besides, I can do some selfpromotion here as well. I usually play some songs that the band has recorded, and sometimes people want to buy our demo. So I'm spreading the wonders of our music, which is all good."

-"I see." _Does this sort of a life only seem boring to me? Maybe I need to lower my standards a bit. Besides, what did I do that was so amusing when I was last alive? I had her... I didn't need anything else then. But I don't have her now, so I'll need to change my ways. I'll need to adapt to the way to world is today, and to the way my life is today. I can't expect the world to meet my demands, just like that, can I? Things have changed a lot during my years of slumber. The world has changed, and so do I need to do._

_¤¤¤_

-"I'm going out." I declare as I get up from the couch. "I just need to be alone for a while, okay?" I throw Vivian a look from over my shoulder as I walk towards the door. He nods his head, seeming to understand. Or at least seeming to think that he understands, since I know that he most definitely doesn't understand anything at all. _He thinks that I'm actually going out for a walk or something, which is best for the both of us. If he knew what I'll really be doing... Better not go there._

I enter the by now darkened street and start to make my way into town. The rain seems to finally have stopped. I'm thankful that Vivians appartment is only in the outskirts of the town, so it doesn't take long before I'm in town, walking down the neon-lit streets.

Finding a victim isn't at all difficult, as long as you know where to go. _I can do this, I still haven't lost my touch. Oh no, I'm as good as ever when it comes to stealthy feeding. My seductiveness is just to die for._ I smirk at my own joke as I set my eyes on a woman with black and red hair, standing on her own outside a club, smoking. She looks up and meets my gaze, almost as if she could feel my eyes on her. I keep eyecontact for a short moment before I slowly start to make my way over the street, towards her. Once I come up to her, I don't say anything. I reach my hand out and take the ciggarette from her and take a whiff from it. Inhale, exhale, and toss it away. All without breaking eyecontact even once. I grab her neck, pulling her close to me and whisper in her ear.

-"I want you." I can hear that she chuckles slightly, and I know that she's smiling, even though she's shivering at my touch.

I take her hand and pull her with me, leading her down the street and into a dark ally. She follows obediently, not saying a word. I push her up against a wall, put a fingers over her lips, motioning for her to stay quiet before softly sinking my teeth into her neck. She gasps slightly, but other than that, she is quiet as she lets me drink her blood. I don't need that much, since I fed properly yesterday, so I know that I won't have to kill her. I stop, licking the wound, stopping the bleeding and closing it, before I pull back and look at her. Her eyes are closed, but she opens them slowly and looks into mine.

-"What-" She starts, but I cut her off by once again putting a finger over her lips.

-"You will walk back out to the club, have an other ciggarette, and then you'll continue with whatever it was that you were doing before I arrived. You will not remember any of this." I say, my voice firm. I look into her eyes, which by now look almost drugged, as if she's in some kind of a trance state. My own eyes are burning with determination, demanding her obedience. She gives me an almost invisible nod before walking away, out from the ally and disappearing into the crowd that has formed outside the club now.

I smile to myself, amused at how easily people are manipulated, before I head back to Vivians appartment again. _No, definitely haven't lost my touch. I still have my killer charm._

_¤¤¤_

-"I'm tired." Vivian yawns and stretches on the large couch. "We should go to bed, since we need to get up fairly early tomorrow. We're supposed to open the store at 9, and before that we need to make som preparations, so we'll need to be there at 8. Meaning that we will have to get up at... uhmm... 6.30-ish. Ugh, that's early." He groans as he sits up, turning the TV off. I get up as well, figuring he is probably right, and follow him into his bedroom. We still haven't felt energetic enough to clean the couch for me, and Vivian doesn't seem to mind sharing his bed with me anyway. As for me, I don't care if I sleep on the floor, the couch or in Vivians bed. As long as I have somewhere to sleep at all, I'm satisfied.

-"Randy?"

-"Yeah?"

-"What are you thinking?" I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. From the corner of my eye I can see Vivian looking at me.

-"That I could've done so much worse."

-"Yeah, you could've done a lot worse." He agrees and I can see that he's smiling. "At least I'm nice."

-"And hot." I add. Vivian raises his eyebrows, he looks surprised to hear me say something like that. I turn my head to look straight at him.

-"Really?" He questions, sounding a bit sarcastic, as if he thinks that I'm only joking.

-"Really." I assure him as I stare into his eyes, which hold a lot of doubt.

-"Why are you saying that all of a sudden?"

-"Well I can take it back if you want?" I say, my voice slightly annoyed. _Perhaps he's not as easily fooled as I thought. I guess I underestimated him._

-"No, I didn't mean it like that." He starts. "It's just... You haven't said anything like that at all to me before. You haven't even taken any of the stuff I've said to you seriously, so when you suddenly-" I cut his ramble off by grabbing his neck and pressing my lips against his.

-"Shut up and kiss me." I whisper as I break the kiss for a moment. He smiles and obeys. _Just need to play my cards right, convince him that I'm being serious. Then I'll have him eating out of my hand in no time. I'm sure he'll be useful._

* * *

I still have no idea if my chapters are too long or not. They're each about 5-7 pages in Word, but they seem a lot longer when posted here. It's because of the layout. I hope it doesn't bother you as much as it bothers me. 


	5. Kindred ken

**Chapter 5, ****Kindred ken**

I check the watch again, cursing slightly under my breath at how it's moving so slowly. _I remember that sometime, long ago, whole years could pass without me even noticing it... So how come an hour seems like such an eternity now?_

Things have been progressing good lately. I've gotten the hang of working in the store, so now Vivian and I are working seperate shifts. He works Mondays and Wednesdays, and I work Tuesdays and Thursdays. We both split Fridays, either both are at the store the whole day, or he takes the morning shift and I switch with him after lunch. Either way is fine with me. Working with Vivian is far more amusing than working on my own. However, if I work the evening shift on Fridays I can feed on my way back to his appartment, and that way, I won't have to come up with an excuse later so that I can go to feed.

Today is Thursday. I've been in Finland for exactly two weeks now, so I'm starting to learn the language. It's a difficult language for me to learn though, so I still can't make myself understood in finish, but I do however understand bits and pieces of spoken finish. At least when it's spoken very, very slowly. Which like, it never is, except for when it's Vivian who's trying to teach me some word or phrase.

I yawn, but cover it with my hand, seeing two customers just entered. It's two girls, one with brown, long braids, and one with black, blue and red dreads. The one with the braids goes over to the gothic section and starts to check out CD's. The one with the dreads, however, follows her friend but is checking out me instead of the CD's. I smile slightly, raising a brow, telling her that I know that she's watching me, and she blushes and looks away.

After a while, both girls approach the counter.

-"I'm looking for a CD, maybe you can help me?" The girl with the braids asks.

-"Yeah, maybe." I reply. The dreadhead smiles.

-"Do you have 'Violet', by 'The Birthday Massacre'?"

-"I honestly have no idea." I say. "But I can find out." Both girls smile and I can tell that they're exchanging glances as I type in 'Violet' in the computer behind the counter.

-"I take it that you're Randy, right?" The girl with the dreads says. I throw her a swift glance.

-"That would be me, yes."

-"Oh, Vivian told us about you."

-"Are you friends of his?" I ask.

-"Not really friends." The one with the braids says. "But we're regulars here, so we see him a lot, and we talk every now and then."

-"I see." I look back at the computer that has finally finished its search for the requested album. "Yeah, we should have a copy of Violet somewhere around." I say and make my way out from behind the counter, over to one of the CD stands and start to flip through them. Both girls follow me. "So what did he say about me?" I ask with a joking tone.

-"That you were hot." The dreadhead says, smiling, and her friend looks away, possibly blushing at her friends straightforwardness.

-"Well that's nothing new." I point out and look at her for a second before going back to search for the CD. She laughs a bit.

-"He also said that you're very cocky. I can see why."

-"Why he said it, or why I am?" I question, smirking as I pull out the right CD.

-"Both." She replies as we go back to the counter. They pay for the CD, thank me and leave.

-"We'll see you around." The braided one says.

-"Yeah. Soon." Ms.Dreadhead fills in before closing the door behind them. I raise a brow, smirking at myself. _It's not easy being wanted by everyone._

¤¤¤

I push the alarm code in and quickly turn the lights out, shutting the door behind me and locking it properly before heading off towards the appartment. It's already starting to get dark, even though it's not very late yet. I don't mind the darkness though. When darkness is all you know for several years, you grow fond of it. You become one with it. My years of slumber provided plenty of time for it to leak into my heart and soul and grow roots there.

Since it's not raining today, I decide to walk to the appartment instead of taking the bus, giving me lots of time to choose a suitable victim. By now, I've stopped being so picky with my victims and only chosing attractive girls, since I figured that by doing so, I'd run out of pretty girls sooner or later.

Today, I decide to go with a slightly elderly man who's walking a bit ahead of me, on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. He looks to be in his fifties, and he's probably heading back home from work. I hurry up to him, telling him that I'm looking for a certain adress, but I'm lost, and ask him for directions.

-"Oh, that street is this way. I'll be heading past there anyway, so I can show you." He kindly offers, feeling sorry for the poor, lost foreigner in front of him. I smile what to him seems to be a thankful smile, but it's rather a smile mocking his stupidity. I walk next to him for a while, until there is no people around us. I then hurry to grab him, cover his mouth with my hand and pull him with me into a dark ally, where I proceed to sink my teeth into his neck.

I let him sink to the ground once I'm done with him and stay in the ally for a while to calm my senses. As I stand there, I'm certain that I see someone further into the ally in the corner of my eye, but when I turn my head to take a closer look, there's no one in sight. Puzzled, and with growing suspicions, I slowly walk into the ally to investigate. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid, and if my mind is only playing tricks with me, but I hear what sounds as footsteps walking past me. I whirl my head around, and at this I'm sure that I can hear someone run out from the ally, but I can't see anyone. _What was that? I didn't imagine all that, did I? No, I'm sure that I heard someone... Or something. Well, I can't do much about it now. I need to be more careful in the future though._

I slowly walk out from the ally, making sure that no one sees me, and then I keep heading towards the appartment. My mind is still in slight chaos, and I can't quite shake off the feeling that I'm being watched.

¤¤¤

_We were sittng under a tree, I was leaning my back against it, and she was sitting between my legs, her back against my chest. I was twirling a silver chain, with a crimson pendant attached to it, between my fingers._

_-"Can I ask you something?" Her voice was soft, sounding a bit tired._

_-"Sure." _

_-"What's up with that pendant of yours?" She asked. "You're always playing with it."_

_-"It was my mothers." I replied. "She wore it all the time. I took it from her when she died, so it's very important to me. It holds something so important, some of my most precious memories... It's called a bloodstone."_

_-"Bloodstone? Is it called that because of its colour?" She asked, following the pendants movements with her eyes. _

_-"Oh, there's more to it than that."_

The person who invented eveningshifts is a genius. It gives me a chance to sleep in. One might think that I'd prefer not sleeping much now that I'm finally awake after several years of slumber, but that's not the case. _Is it just me, or am I awfully tired for having to have slept for such a long time? Shouldn't I be... I don't know... wellrested? Apparantly not._

I don't really need to sleep, since I'm a vampire, but there's so much going on in my head right now, so many new things to take in. Sometimes it just gets a bit too much, and I need to give my brain a chance to relax. What better way is there to rest your brain than sleeping?

I sit up, yawn and rub my eyes. The dream I just had slowly comes back to me. _Bloodstone? It was precious to me... What happened to it?_

The alarm clock reads 12.14, which means that I might as well get up now. I decide to take a shower, to help me wake up fully. After the shower I get dressed in a black wifebeater, black jeans and a Nine Inch Nails hoodie. Nine Inch Nails was the first modern band I heard. They were on Randys mp3-player, and I immidiately started to take a liking to them. The record store has a lot of their CD's, so I've been listening to them a lot while woking lately.

While waiting for my hair to dry, I borrow some of Vivians makeup. I line my eyes in black, and apply some dark grey and black eyeshadow, creating a somewhat smokey effect around my eyes. I've gotten quite good when it comes to fixing makeup, seems I just have a natural talent for it. Vivian says that he's jealous of my skills. I guess I'm just used to apply makeup. _Did I wear makeup when I last was alive? I can't seem to remember._

I realize that I should probably try to check up a bit on history, in order for me to find out what year it was when I last was alive. I have enough memories of towns, buildings and happenings from when I last lived, which hopefully is enough. The only problem is that I can imagine that people in Finland didn't know much about Egypt back then. Hopefully they do now, though. _Oh well. It doesn't matter that much anyway._

Once done with the makeup I use some hairgel to fix my hair, spiking it in the back, leaving my bangs as they are. After that I grab my keys and jacket, pull my shoes on and leave the appartment.

¤¤¤

I'm half asleep, leaning on the counter, just waiting for time to pass. There's two hours left until the store closes, and I'm already tired. Today has been a busy day, with lots of customers, so my head feels as if it's spinning from hearing so many questions about so many different bands and albums.

There's just three customers in the store at the moment, and they seem to be doing quite well on their own, so I don't leave my comfortable leaning stance behind the counter. They'll have to come to me if they want something.

I insert a new CD in the stereo, this time it ended up being "Crimson" by "Sentenced". As the second song starts playing a girl comes up to me.

-"I know this song!" She says, she sounds very excited. "It's called 'Home in Despair', right?" I check the cover and nod my head, wondering why she's all worked up. "What band is this? I've heard the song a bunch of times at different clubs, and I really like it, but I've never known what band it is."

-"It's 'Sentenced'."

-"Oh. Is the CD you're playing now for sale, or is it your own?" She asks.

-"It's for sale. You want it?"

-"Yeah!" Her whole face shines up as she smiles from ear to ear, and I smile back at her. I take the CD out of the stereo, put it back in the cover and hand it to her. She pays for the CD and thanks me gingerly, the huge smile never leaving her face. I smile as she walks out of the store. Seeing her face shine up when I told her that she could buy the CD made an impact on me. _Helping her, making her happy, it felt... nice. It makes me feel... I don't know... What is this feeling?_

¤¤¤

Since it's Friday and everything, I decide to spoil myself a bit, picking a beautiful woman with deep red, almost purple hair as my victim. Her eyes are grey, sparkling like diamonds as she smiles at me, giving me flirty glances. I've picked her up at a club, and I'm making my way outside with her now, saying that I'd like to be alone with her. I can tell that she's proud of herself, feeling sexy and a bit lucky, since she got picked up by me so early in the evening. _You're not as lucky as you think, dear._

-"I know the perfect place to go." She says, smiling, pulling me away down the street. We soon come to a small park. It's dark, and no one is around. _Perfect._ She leads me over to a bench and sits down on it, pulling me along with her. I smirk and lean in to kiss her. She has a piercing in her tongue, and she's a good kisser. I decide to have some fun with her before getting to the point of things.

We kiss for a few minutes, I let my tongue play with her piercing, and run my hands through her wavy, purple hair. I break the kiss, moving my lips to her neck and kiss her, nibbling playfully. She giggles a bit as I run my tongue over her skin. I let my fangs grace her skin, not puncturing it though, just barely scratching it softly.

-"We've been looking for you." I immidiately stop what I'm doing, cursing whoever's interrupting me as I turn my head around. There's two people standing in front of me. A woman and a man. The woman has long, dark hair that goes in a blue tone. She's wearing a black shirt, short black skirt, overknee socks and black stiletto shoes. The man has very short blond hair, he's dressed in blue, faded jeans and a leather jacket.

-"Who's she?" My victim asks and looks from the woman to me. I don't reply, I'm too focused on the two people in front of me. _They're not normal._

-"You should thank me, not glare at me. I just did you a favour, interrupting the two of you." The woman says to my victim, smirking. "Now get out of here." I narrow my eyes. _She knows._ My victim looks confused, but seems very intimidated by the blue-haired woman, so she does as she says and leaves in a hurry. I stand up straight and glare at the woman, angry because she let my victim get away.

-"What do you want?" I ask, my voice cold as ice, demanding an answer.

-"My my... You're not very friendly, are you?" She replies.

-"Who are you?"

-"I could ask you the same." She says, smirking a bit. "I'm Mistress. This is Sammy." She says, pointing at her friend who hasn't spoken yet.

-"What do you want?" I ask again. She smirks.

-"I've had my eyes on you for a while. Ever since you arrived here, actually. I've watched you on the streets, in the allys with your preys..." _It's the girl I "saw" and heard when killing that old man..._ "Do you know what I like?" She asks, changing the subject, as she takes a few steps closer. "I like pretty boys. Especially pretty boys in pain... You're very pretty... Would you scream for me?"

-"The only thing you'll be hearing if you come any closer is the sound of your head falling to the ground." I hiss. I don't like this Mistress. She smiles a sadistic grin again.

-"Fiesty, are we? I should teach you a lesson."

-"Isn't two on one a bit unfair?"

-"Fine. Sammy." She calls. Sammy walks up to her. "Our friend here needs to be taught a lesson. Just don't kill him. I want to see him suffer..." Sammy doesn't seem to have any objections, but simply does as she says.

He clenches his fists, crackling his knuckles and glares at me. Suddenly, he charges at me, hurling himself at me with great speed. His right fist bolts out, aiming for my head, however, I'm quicker than him, and seemingly stronger as well. I catch his fist, stopping it right before it makes contact with my jaw. I force it to the side, and at the same time launch my other arm at his, twisting it the other way until it makes a satisfying, crackling sound, telling me that the bone in his arm is broken.

He grunts in pain, but doesn't seem to bothered by having his arm broken. Instead, he tries to hit me with his other fist. I have no problem with dodging his blow, it's as if I can see what he's doing, before he even does it. I crouch to the ground and then bolt up again. My fist crashes into his stomach as I give him an uppercut, surprising him. I use the split second of shock to my advantage, punching him in his face, making him fly back a bit, creating some distance between us.

When he charges at me again I jump into the air, kicking him from the side, and spinning around 90 degrees. His head bolts to the side by the force of my kick. I land on the ground with my back towards him, and see how he charges at me again in the corner of my eye. I crouch to the ground and spin around again, this time with my leg stretched out, trippling him and making him fall to the ground. While he's on the ground, I jump backwards to create more space between us, and get up again.

Sammy gets up quickly, glaring at me, before launching at me once again. This time I catch his left arm and twist it back, forcing him to come to a halt. A second is all I need to dig my fangs into the side of his throat and rip it open. He makes a gurgling sound as the blood flows out of the wound. I release my hold of his arm, and he falls down to his knees, grabbing on to his own throat with the one arm he can use.

I circle around him, slowly, as I try to think of a nice way to finish him off. However, Sammy acts again before I do, getting up from the ground and hurling himself at me. Instincts take over and I take a step back, feeling my nails harden and grow longer. I reach my hand out as Sammy comes towards me, and push it into his chest, fingers first, feeling my nails dig themselves through his clothes and skin, entering his chest. I push my hand further into his chest, reaching his heart, grabbing a hold of it and squeezing it tightly.

I look up at Sammy, my hand still in his chest. He stares into my eyes, his own full of shock, anger, pain and perhaps even sadness. I pull my hand out and watch as he falls to the ground, landing in a lifeless heap.

I slowly lift my head, looking over at Mistress who stands a few meters away. Her face is cold, showing no sign of emotions upon witnessing her friend die. The only thing I can make out of her face is a hint of surprise, her eyes examining me closely.

-"What a bore." I say, drying my hand off at Sammys jacket. Mistress stays silent. "Are you going to throw your life away as easily as well, or will you prove to be a worthy oponent?" I continue as I take a step towards her. She reacts by taking a step back, then another one, and yet another. Before I know it, she turns around and starts to run away, hiding in the shadows. This time I'm prepared for her disappearance, so I sharpen my eyes and sprint after her, catching up to her within seconds. I grab her arm just as I had grabbed Sammys, twist it to her back and force her down on her knees, onto the ground.

-"Who are you?" She whispers, as she turns her head to stare up at my face.

-"I can honestly say that I can't tell you that. But that doesn't matter, because you will die now anyway."

-"Wait! Wait." She pleads.

-"What?"

-"If you kill me, there will be others coming for you."

-"How very intimidating." I scoff. "And if I don't kill you?"

-"I'll make sure that no one will bother you again." I remain silent, considering it. "Isn't that what you want?"

-"What makes you think that you know what I want?"

-"Well, since this is a Camarilla ruled city, and you haven't introduced yourself to the prince, I'm assuming that you're not part of the Camarilla. Am I right?" _Camarilla?_ Memories seem to start to come back to me. Memories of the Camarilla, the Sabbat and of clans. "But since you haven't even tried to contact any vampire at all, I assume that you want to be left alone, correct?"

-"If you know all this, then why did you approach me at all?" I ask, thinking that she must be rather stupid.

-"Because I was curious! And I underestimated you."

-"Yes, you sure did." I agree.

-"Look, we can talk more if you just let go of my arm. You're hurting me."

-"How do I know that I can trust you?"

-"Oh come on! After what I just saw you do to Sammy? There's no way I can escape from you, you're too quick for me." She's right. She's way too slow, and I can see through her disguise of shadows.

I let go of her arm slowly, and she stands up, facing me. She seems a lot calmer now, her face is almost neutral, and the sadistic look her eyes had before is completely gone. It's as if her personality completely changed, almost as if she's a totally different person from before.

-"Why have you been watching me?" I question. "Did someone send you?"

-"My packleader did. She wanted me to find out if you were with us or with them." She replies, obviously referring to the Sabbat and the Camarilla.

-"Well I'm with neither. I have no intrest in either the Sabbat or the Camarilla. I have better things to do than to be someones slave." Mistress smiles slightly at this, nodding her head.

-"I have a question. Why is it that you can't tell me who you are?" She wonders, looking at me curiously.

-"Because I don't know." I reply and start to walk away from the park we are in. She follows me closely.

-"You don't know?"

-"I don't remember."

-"Oh. That must be... weird. Not to mention annoying."

-"So are you." I say and cast her a glance from the side. Her face darkens a bit.

-"You too." She throws back at me. "My mission was to find out who you are, which clan you belong to, and why you're here. If you can't remember, that makes it more difficult for me. I was hoping that I could torture you and make you tell me." She pouts.

-"I don't know who I am, I don't know anything about my belonging to any clan, and I'm here in search of someone." I answer simply.

-"Oh? Who? Maybe I can help."

-"I doubt it. I'm not sure who I'm looking for either. It's a vampire that I knew when I last lived."

-"What do you mean 'last lived'?" She questions. _Fuck. Why did I say that to her?_

-"Yes. When I last lived. I was staked, and I've been asleep ever since. I just recently got woken up. That's why I don't remember anything."

-"Oh my." She exclaims as her eyes widen. "Where are you from?"

-"Egypt."

-"Egypt? That's far. Did you come all the way here to look for that someone?"

-"Yes."

-"And you don't even remember who?" I shake my head. "Then why are you looking for that person?"

-"Because I love her. That's all I know." Mistress looks slightly taken aback at this.

-"You love her?"

-"Why is that so surprising?"

-"Because you seem so cold. As if you don't have emotions at all."

-"Do I, now?" I question, unintrested. What I want to know is where my victim went. I still need to feed. I steer my steps towards the club again, and enter it with Mistress following me closely. I can't spot my victim anywhere though.

-"What are we doing?" Mistress asks after a while.

-"I'm trying to feed. You're not making it much easier for me though." I reply. Mistress smirks at this.

-"Oh, really?" I watch her walk up to the nearest guy, grabbing his arm to make him focus his attention on her. "Do you want to have sex with me?" She asks him. He looks a bit suprised, but after looking down her cleaveage he gets up and allows her to lead him out through the club. As they walk past me, she motions for me to follow.

Mistress leads the guy away from the club, around the first corner and into the nearest ally, once inside the ally, she grabs his arm in the same way that I had done with her earlier and pushes him up against a wall, silenceing him with a hand over his mouth.

-"He's all yours." She smirks. I dont reply, but I walk up to him, yank him away from the wall and push my fangs into his neck. He tries to scream, but Mistress still has her hand over his mouth, so all that comes out is muffled cries. He soon stops struggling, and hangs limp in my arms. I let go of him and watch him fall to the ground, wiping the blood from my mouth. I look over at Mistress, and she's smiling at me.

-"What?"

-"See, I can be useful." She smirks. "Anyway, that's me making up to you for scaring off your other victim."

-"How very thoughtful." My voice is dripping with sarcasm. I start to make my way out from the ally, and steer my steps towards the appartment. Mistress is still following me, and she is starting to get on my nerves now.

-"The guy you're living with." Mistress says. I throw her a glance.

-"What about him?"

-"He's pretty." She smirks, the sadistic glow returning to her eyes.

-"I'll rip your arms off if you even touch him." I reply as I throw her a glare, my voice cold and firm again.

-"Oh? I didn't know that he was important to you..." She teases.

-"He's my best option when it comes to survival in this city."

-"What about me?" She asks. "I'm a Cainite even." _Cainite? Yes, that's an other word for vampire, isn't it? I had forgotten about that term. Cainite. Fellow vampires can also be called Kindred, right?_

-"I said 'survival'. Being with you is pretty much suicide." I scoff, shoving my thoughts away.

-"Is not!"

-"Not? See what happened to your friend." I say sarcastically. She glares at me a bit, but remains silent, admitting defeat.

-"You know, I could help you." She says after a while.

-"With what?"

-"Oh, this and that. If it is as you say, that you have no memories, then I can help you. I mean, the Cainite society can be difficult to understand sometimes, and I can help you with that. I know a lot of people, as well. Maybe someone might know something about the person you're looking for?" I glance at her. _It's a long shot, but perhaps it might help. What harm is there in asking, anyway?_

-"And what do I have to do for you in return?" I ask, knowing that a favour never comes along for free.

-"Oh, well seeing you killed Sammy, who just happened to be my partner when it comes to 'business', I could use your help every once in a while, I suppose. You see, Sammy was the muscles, and I'm the brain."

-"Exactly what would it be that you would need my help with?"

-"Killing. What else?" She snickers. "And from what I've seen, you're good at it. So what do you say?"

-"Fine." I agree. _This might be exactly what I need, someone like me. Someone I can talk to, someone to answer my questions._

-"Then it's a deal." Mistress smirks. I give her a short description of how I remember Serenity, but I mention that my memories are a bit old, so there's a great chance that she's changed a bit.

-"Vampires don't change." Mistress smirks. "Anyway, I'll ask around. Spread the word. See what comes up. I'll see you around though." She winks at me and blows me a kiss before turning around and walking off in the other direction. I stand still for a while and look after her, shaking my head slowly, a slightly amused smile playing on my lips.

After a while, I turn around and continue making my way up the street. _Today has been an exhausting day. Exhausting, but intresting. A lot has happened. At least now I know for sure that there are vampires. Camarilla, Sabbat, clans... Not much seems to have changed. And about Mistress... Hmm... She might prove useful, although she is a bit annoying. Oh well, if things get out of hand, I can just kill her._

* * *

See, I promised this one would be more intresting. Something finally happened, yay!  
I had to delete two sections of this chapter, because it was like 9 pages in Word, and seemed way too long to post here. I don't think it messed up the story too much, though. 


	6. Historical hints

**Chapter 6, ****Historical hints**

_A drop of blood hit my cheek, she was crying. Her bottom lip was shaking, and she held onto me tightly, not wanting to let go._

_-"I'm... not..." I found that I couldn't quite speak, it hurt too much.._

_-"No..." She whispered thoughtfully. "We were going to be together forever. I promised you..." Her voice trailed off as she broke into sobs, more tears falling from her eyes._

_-"I didn't... plan to..."_

_-"Sssch." She silenced me by placing a finger over my lips. "Don't worry. We'll be together again. I promised you that I would be yours forever, didn't I?" She tried to smile. "I'll wait for you to be reincarnated, even if that means that I'll have to wait forever." I tried my best to smile back at her, but didn't quite manage. "I don't want to lose you."_

_-"You won't." I managed to whisper. "I'm not... leaving you..." She reached up and pulled off my pendant, the bloodstone. She looked at it for a second, clasped her hand around it and held her hand over her chest, by her heart._

_-"I will keep you in here..." She sobbed, her eyes fixed on the stake in my chest._

_-"Wait..." I whispered. "I'm not..." _

_-"I love you!" She threw herself at me, hugging me tightly. I felt an intense pain, and then things went black._

I stirr and open my eyes slowly. _That dream... An other memory? Yes. So that's what happened to the bloodstone. She has it. Or well, at least she had it. If she's alive today, I wonder if she still has the bloodstone? If she does, that might help me find her. Somehow... Maybe... I wonder whose blood it contains..._

Today is Wednesday. Almost a week has passed since I first met Mistress, and she still hasn't contacted me again. _She probably won't. It wouldn't surprise me if she's deliberately keeping away from me. Perhaps she didn't intend to ever contact me again? Perhaps she just suggested that we made a deal so that I would trust her, and she would have a chance to escape? No. She had tons of chances to escape. I didn't ever say that she had to follow me, but she did anyway. Followed me to the club, and followed me halfway back to the appartment. But then what's taking her so long?_

I get out of the bed, intending to put on some clothes, but I just end up standing in front of the large mirror hanging on the wall, next to the closet. _I don't look much like a vampire, do I? At least not while I'm forcing my blood to flow through my veins. But if I stop... I become pale as death_.

By now, most of my powers and abilities have returned to me. Vague memories of me using them have started to come back as well. That's why I had managed to kill Sammy. _Although, when he charged at me the last time, instincts took over. My nails... They became.. claws? How did I do it?_ I close my eyes, and try to think about changing my nails like that again, but it doesn't seem to work. I open my eyes again, look down at my nails and imagine them changing. The image of how they looked that time still lingers in my mind, and I project the image onto them now. _Growing... Harder... Longer... Black._ It works. All I had to do was to imagine it happen. To think about it happening, and to concentrate.

I look up into the mirror, allowing my nails to turn back as they were. It seems most of my abilities are so deeply rooted somewhere in my subconciousness, that I don't know how to use them, but simply can anyway. As when I managed to see through the cloak of shadows Mistress used when she tried to escape. I just sharpened my eyes, focused on spotting her, and I did. _I should be able to move with the shadows like that as well. I should be able to do lots of things..._

I vaguely remember being able to move things with my mind, but I can't remember how to do it. I walk into the kitchen and take a glass out from a cupboard. I sit down by the table and put the glass in front of me. I picture the glass moving, hovering above the table, but the glass remains still. I bite my lip slightly, trying my best to focus on the glass. As I create a strong image of the glass in the middle of the air, it starts to shake a bit. I smirk slightly. _Progress._

_¤¤¤_

Since Vivian is at work, I have all day to practice my skills. I finally manage to move the glass, and make it hover above the table. Content, I put the glass back at the shelf where I took it, before heading towards the door, grabbing my jacket, keys, the cellphone Vivian bought for me, and stepping into my shoes.

For once, I feel like I have tons and tons of energy, so I take the stairs instead of the elevator, running down them quickly. I exit the white appartmentbuilding and walk off at a quick pace, not really having a particular destination in mind. I just walk where ever my feet seem to take me.

I soon end up in a bit more trashy neighbourhood. Compared to the clean, finer neighbourhood where Vivian lives, this place is very filthy. The buildings are dull, grey or brown, and there's cracks in the walls of some buildings. It's starting to get a bit dark, and the streets are very poorly lit, the distance between the streetlamps fairly great. There's not that many people out now, and there's lots of dark allys, creating the perfect area for me to kill someone.

I walk down the street, trying to find a suitable victim, but soon realize that I'm being followed. I turn my head slowly and spot a man behind me, dressed in a large, brown coat. His hands are in his pockets, holding on to what seems to be a knife or something. I smirk slightly to mysef as the man quickens his pace, heading for me. I don't make any attempt to escape, but continue at the same pace, waiting patiently for the man to reach me. Once he does, he pulls up the knife I had already suspected he had, and forces me into an ally with him. He says something in finish, which I don't understand.

-"I'm guessing you're here to rob me." I speak, my voice calm and quiet. "You're making a big mistake though. The mistake of a lifetime."

-"Shut up! Give me your wallet or die!"

-"You shut up. Lower the knife or die." I smirk. The mans eyes glimmer with anger.

-"You're giving me no choice!" Before I get a chance to react, he throws himself at me, stabbing me with the knife in my stomach. I look from the knife, up to the mans face. He seems a bit surprised at his own actions, his determination faltering. I flash him a cold smile.

-"That barely even hurts." His eyes widen, and he lets go of the knife, taking a step backwards. Before he gets the chance to escape, I grab him by his shoulder, pulling the knife out from my stomach and pressing it into his instead. He lets out a cry of fear and pain, and tries to get my hand off of him. I growl, plunging my fangs into his neck, not paying any attention to the mans kicking and punching. After a short while, the man stops struggling, and I let go of him, letting him fall to the ground. I realize that I'm still bleeding from the wound created by the knife, so I focus on closing the wound before exiting the ally and making my way back to the appartment again.

¤¤¤

I press down the handle and enter the appartment, taking my jacket off and tossing it at a chair. My sweater is bloodstained, so I pull it off on my way to the bathroom.

-"Randy?" _Fuck._ Vivian comes out from the kitchen and sees the blood on my hands and clothes. "Shit! Are you okay?" He hurries after me into the bathroom and watches me wash the blood away from my hands.

-"I'm fine."

-"Then whose blood is that?" He questions, his face losing its colour.

-"Someone elses." I'm done with washing the blood from my hands off, and I take a towel and wipe the blood on my stomach away. Vivian remains silent, but I can tell that he's shocked, afraid and confused.

-"What happened?"

-"Someone threatened me with a knife, and tried to rob me." Vivians eyes widen. "Unfortunately, for him at least, I'm fairly good at fighting, and I know how to disarm someone. You can figure the rest out for yourself." I lie, but Vivian seems to believe me, not having any reason not to, really.

-"Did you call the police?" He questions. I look at him.

-"Yeah, sure." I roll my eyes. "A foreigner, with no money, no belongings, a fake passport and no friends calls the police, saying he's killed someone in selfdefence. I'm sure they'd believe me." I finish sarcastically. Vivian looks down, realizing I'm right.

-"Did anyone see you?"

-"No. The street was empty. No one saw it happen, no one saw me leave, and no one saw the blood on my hands. Except for you, that is." Vivian seems very troubled, probably worrying that the police will knock at the door any second now. "Look. Relax, okay." I put a hand at his shoulder. "I'm fine, he's not. It's his fault. No one was there to witness it, so no one can say for sure that I did it. Besides, he was pretty much a bum anyway, so no one will probably even realize he's missing."

Vivian is spaced out and shaky for the rest of the evening.

¤¤¤

It's Friday and I've just finished feeding. As I exit the ally, I feel a pair of eyes on me. I don't have to look to figure out who it is.

-"What took you so long?" My voice is calm and slightly unintrested, mirroriong the opposite of my actual feelings.

-"You try to explain to your packleader why your partner is dead, without getting her mad! I've had to do all kinds of shitty jobs, all week, because of you."

-"He attacked me first." I defend myself as I start to make my way back to the appartment, not wanting to be late and make Vivian worry. He's been all on edge after what happened the other day.

-"Look, I've asked around, but no one seems to have heard or seen the girl you're looking for. Sorry."

-"I didn't expect anyone to have, anyway." I explain. "If she's still alive, she probably has my pendant." I add.

-"Oh?"

-"It's a bloodstone. A vessel filled with blood. About the size of your thumb. Pendants like that were very rare when I had it, I'm not sure if they're as rare today though, but maybe that can be of help."

-"Yes, maybe. I've never seen a pendant like that. Never heard of one either I think, so they can't be that common." Mistress answers. I nod slowly.

-"There's something else you can do for me, though." I say as a thought begins to shape itself in my head. "I need help to figure out how long I've been gone. Do you think you can help me with that?"

-"Well, you were from Egypt, right? I don't know anything about Egypt, but I might know someone who does. Maybe he can help you?"

-"Maybe. Who is he?"

-"He's was an archeologist, and a historian in life. Nowadays, he's a noddist."  
-"A noddist?"

-"Yes, a scholar, studying the Book of Nod. He specializes in the history of vampires, but he knows a lot about the history of mankind, as well as ancient egyptian history. I'm not sure how much he knows, but I can't think of anyone else. He might be worth a try at least."

-"I guess. Can you set up a meeting for me with him?"

-"I'll see what I can do." She replies. "But... after this, you owe me one." She adds before blowing me a kiss and walking off. _I guess I do owe you one. If I find out for sure how long I've been gone, it migth be worth it though._

¤¤¤

-"If I'm not completely mistaken..." Mistress friend, the scholar that I learn is called Niilo, begins. "most of the events you've told me about took place in the early 12:th century. The Foruth Crusade however, which you mentioned, took place around year 1204. We might as well guess that you entered torpor in the early 13:th century then..." His voice trails off as he looks up at me, a hint of worry showing on his face. "How old were you before you were staked?"

-"I don't know."

-"You don't have any idea at all? Not even the slightest memory of something you did or experienced that can give us any clues as to how long you've been a Cainite?"

-"No."

-"Nothing you remember for certain before Adrainople fell? Is that the first strong memory you have? For sure?"

-"I don't know." I snap, getting quite annoyed. "I want to know how old I am, just as much as you do, but I can't remember. I do know that I had been alone for quite a long time before Serenity came along though."

-"Quite a long time before the 12:th century..." Niilo mumbles to himself.

-"Then you could be..." Mistress starts, but her voice trails off, as if she doesn't want to finish the sentence.

-"Pretty much ancient." Niilo finishes, his voice almost trembling a bit. "Either way, you're old. We know that for a fact." He continues after a while.

-"But if you're like, ancient, that means..." Mistress starts, but Niilo cuts her off.

-"We don't know anything for sure, so let's not jump into conclusions now." He says, his voice firm. "Which clan do you belong to, by the way?"

-"None." I reply, recalling a vague memory from long ago. They both look at me, asking something, but their voices fade away.

_-"So which clan do you belong to?" She asked, a puzzled look upon her face._

_-"None." I answered. "When I was created there were no such things as clans, and I tend not to associate with any of them."_

-"Hello? Are you with us?" Mistress is waving a hand in front of my face.

-"When were the different clans created?" I ask Niilo, who looks a bit surprised at my question.

-"Well, I don't know any exact dates, it was such a long time ago, and it varies from clan to clan. Why do you ask?" His face grows a bit suspicious.

-"Nevermind." I say, not wanting to reveal the information I just obtained through my memory to the other two. Seeing Mistress shocked and troubled face when Niilo called me 'ancient' keeps me from letting them in on my suspicions of my age. "Mistress, if I really am **that** old, what would it mean?" I ask, inquiring her to finish what she was saying.

-"That would mean that you're dangerous." She answers, her voice quiet and shaky, and her face showing a hint of worry. Her face soon lights up though. "Wow, you migt prove even more useful than I first thought! If you're really that old, you must be quite powerful!"

-"Such a pity that you're a Caitiff." Niilo comments.

-"Caitiff?" I ask.

-"Most clanless vampires call themselves Caitiffs. The Camarilla despises them, but they are accepted as a clan by the Sabbat."

-"Why is that 'such a pity' then?"

-"Because if you were a member of a clan, I might have been able to ask around, do some research and such. Most clans keep a rather good record of their members. If I could get a hold of any old records like that... Look, I really want to figure out who you are, but if you're clanless, it will most likely prove a lot more difficult."

-"I'd like to know who you are as well." Mistress adds.

-"So would I." I whisper.

* * *

Well look at that, I managed to pull some history into the story as well.  
WoD/VtM is owned by White Wolf, not me. I'm following their history, not making anything up on my own. (Yet.) 


	7. Venial vampirism

**Chapter 7, ****Venial vampirism**

Time passes quickly for a vampire. I've already been in Finland for over a month. Vivian has finally started to calm down about the whole robbery thing, not expecting the police to be at the door each time he hears something. What surprises me is that things between us haven't been at all weird. I'd expected him to be a bit freaked out, knowing that I've killed someone, but he seems not to mind, or perhaps he just tries his best not to think about it.

Our relationship, overall, has started to get more intense, or perhaps more "serious" as Vivian would call it. We see each other each day, at home, at work. Even though it's already been a month, Vivian hasn't mentioned me moving out from his appartment even once. He seems satisfied with having me there, and I'm not complaining. This way, I get to pay only half the rent, instead of paying the whole amount and living alone. I don't mind having Vivian around anyway. He's amusing, and caring. Just what I need to keep my mind off of things.

_Maybe I should offer him my blood? That way I wouldn't have to be hiding my true nature from him. But no. I don't want to do that. I don't want to steal his life away. I want him to stay the way he is. Pure. Mortal. That's where his beauty lies. I don't want to take that away from him._

¤¤¤

Niilo has been digging through his files and archives, comparing the way I've described how I remember things looking in Egypt to old books and such in an attempt to figure out my age. He's read up a bit on his history, confirming the dates of some of the events I spoke of, further proving that I probably was staked sometime in the early 13:th century. He still hasn't been able to find any more clues to who I might be, but I'm not surprised. If it is the way I remember things, then no other vampires should have known about me, since I never interacted with any of them.

-"You said that you're able to be outside in daylight, didn't you?" I nod my head. "That's an other sign telling us that you're old. Some old vampires are able to do that, using their Cainite blood to protect their skin from getting burned. The sun still usually stings their eyes, though. For the likes of Mistress and I, keeping in the darkness is our only option." Niilo continues.

-"Must be rather dull." I say, not being able to imagine what it might be like, never seeing daylight.

-"Caitiffs..." Mistress mumbles.

-"Yes." Niilo nods. "Caitiffs tend to be thin-blooded; far removed from Caine, 13th generation or worse. They can be viewed as omens of Gehenna."

-"Gehenna?" I question. Both Niilo and Mistress gives me surprised looks.

-"Gehenna, our prophesied armageddon, does it ring any bells?" Mistress finally speaks, looking for any sign of remembrance on my face.

-"Gehenna is the time when the Antediluvians will rise to consume the blood of all the younger vampires and construct a city in which they will rule for 1000 years." Niilo explains. "Gehenna is said to be preceded by the Time of Thin Blood, in which vampires below the 13th generation lose the potency of their blood, become incapable of Embracing others, using their vampiric powers, and even develop a tolerance to sunlight." Niilo continues, sounding as if he was quoting a book, or if he was rambling a well learned speach.

-"I see." I comment. "So since I'm a Caitiff, as you call it, and sunlight doesn't burn me, I'm an omen of Gehenna?" Neither of them reply.

-"We need to keep quiet about your age." Niilo says, changing the topic after a moment of silence. "If the Sabbat or Camarilla were to find out, they'd be coming for you."

-"Why is that?" I ask.

-"Because you're a threat." Mistress replies, her eyes dark.

-"Really now?"

-"Old Cainites are powerful, which makes them dangerous. Most Caitiffs are considered as good as harmless. Since they are clanless, they do not specialize in any particular discipline. Although, as shown in your case by the display you had Mistress witness, they have the freedom to learn any discipline or develop their own. If you were to decide to kill us all, then we would probably not be able to stop you." Niilo pauses for a short moment, looking at me intently. "All really old Cainites are usually slayed by others, to ensure the saftey and survival of our race. The few old ones that are still alive usually stay away from others. We don't know for sure if they are in torpor, or if they are just hiding. If the Sabbat, or the Camarilla, were to find out that a Caitiff as old as you were moving about, they would send someone to assassinate you." Niilo explains. I smirk.

-"Let them come for me. I'll be prepared."

-"No." Niilo says, his voice firm. "We do not want a bloodbath. We do not want to make a scene. What we want, is to keep your existence a secret, to remain passive until we've figured out all details about you."

-"Then what? What if it turns out that I'm really old? What will you do then? Slay me?" I ask. Mistress bites her lip, looking down. Niilo shakes his head.

-"We'd never try to do that, because we know that we'd never succeed. I'm not much of a fighter, and neither is Mistress."

-"You, on the other hand managed to kill Sammy without even letting him give you a scratch. You have quite some skills." Mistress chips in.

-"Then what will you do when you find out who I am?"

-"That depends." Niilo answers. "What will **you** do when you find out?"

-"Exactly what I'm doing now. Trying to find out what happened to Serenity."

-"If that's true, then we'd have nothing to fear, correct?"

-"Correct." I nod.

-"But if not, if you were to turn on us, then we'd have to inform the Sabbat, and they'd probably hire Assamites to terminate you."

-"Why would I want to turn on my own race? What good is it for me in killing vampires?"

-"You tell me. That's what's said will happen when Gehenna comes, is it not?"

-"Well I'm not planning on turning on my own race." I reply, ignoring Niilos remark about Gehenna, and the frightened look Mistress is giving me. "I'm not planning on having anything to do with any vampires, as long as they don't approach me. If an other guy like Sammy would come along, giving me no choice, I won't hesitate to do what's necessary though."

¤¤¤

It's getting quite late, and I promised Vivian that we'd go out today, seeing it's Saturday, and we've just gotten our paychecks for this month, so Mistress and I bid farewell and leave the basement Niilo rents. Once back out on the street we walk slowly into town. Vivian calls me on my cellphone, asking me where I am. We decide to meet at the corner of a street not too far away.

Once there, it has started to snow, even though it's just October. Vivian is standing under a streetlamp, the light from it making the snowflakes in his hair glow like small crystals. He smiles at me as we approach him, and throws Mistress an intrested look.

-"Sorry I'm late... Things just took a bit more time than planned." I explain.

-"It's okay."

-"Vivian, this is Mistress. Mistress, Vivian." I introduce them. Mistress looks at me, a weird expression on her face, seemingly surprised that I'm still hanging out with Vivian. I ignore her.

-"Nice to meet you. Are you a friend of Randy's? I've never heard him talk about you."

-"Well, I guess you could say that I am his 'friend', yes." She replies, smirking a bit. "And the same goes for you. What are you to him?" She trow the question back at him. He looks thinking for a moment.

-"I think you'd have to ask him about that." He replies after some hesitation. I turn my head the other way.

-"Come on, let's move." I say and start walking. "Where are you heading Mistress?"

-"I'm not sure. Home, perhaps. There's something I have to do at first, but you can gladly join me." She smiles and leads the way.

-"Just exactly what are we doing?" Vivian question after a while.

-"We're meeting somene." Mistress explains. We walk in silence for a few more minutes until we arrive at a shabby looking club. Outside, a tall man with blond hair stands. He nods his head slightly as Mistress approaches him. They exchange a few words, and he comes with us, walking off in an other direction.

-"Where are we going?" Vivian asks me after a while, he seems a bit worried. I just shrug.

-"I guess we'll see. Why?"

-"I just don't like this neighbourhood..." I look around and see what he means. The neighbourhood seems very old and run down. Most of the buildings and houses seem to be on the verge of collapsing. _Does people actually live here?_

After a while we reach what seems to be an old, abandoned appartmentbuilding.

-"In here." Mistress says and pulls the man with the blond hair with her inside. Vivians eyes widen a bit, but he doesn't say anything. I lift my brows, throwing him a questioning look, but he remains silent.

We go up a flight of stairs, and enter one of the appartments. The whole place seems very run down and old, and the door to the appartment is missing. We enter what seems to have been a livingroom. There's newspapers and dried leaves scattered all over the floor, and along the wall at the far side of the room, there's an old couch. Mistress leads her friend over there and sits down. I pay very little attention to her and decide to look around instead.

I enter the room conncted to this one, and come into what seems to be the kitchen. An old stove is still left here, though I doubt that it still works. I enter a hallway, which leads me to what must have been a bedroom. There's still an old bed, and a pair of blue, torn curtains hanging by the window. They move slowly in the wind, seeing the window is broken. I look around, an uneasy feeling spreading through my body. It almost feels as if someone is watching me. I can't help but to wonder who used to live here, and why the place is abandoned now. _Why didn't anyone renovate this place? Why has it just been left here like this?_

-"What the!?!" I spin my head around, hearing Vivians shocked and scared voice break the deathly silence. I hurry back into the living room, and find Vivian pressed up against a wall, Mistress is still sitting on the couch, only now, she has her fangs pressed into her friends neck. He sits still, letting her drink from him. Mistress looks up at me as I enter the room, her eyes glowing faintly red.

-"Mistress!?" I yell, panicking as I look to Vivian. His eyes are fixed at Mistress, watching drops of blood making their way down the mans neck, dripping onto his jacket. Vivian seems to have stopped breathing, as he stands there, staring at the sight before him. "Viv..." I start but I don't get a chance to finish, since Vivian tears away his gaze from Mistress and runs as quickly as he can out through the door, retracing our steps. "Mistress!" I curse, glaring daggers at her. She has by now stopped drinking her friends blood and is looking at me, a puzzled look at her face.

-"Didn't he know?" She whispers, a tone of worry and surprise in her voice.

-"No!" I yell as I hurry after Vivian.

-"I thought he knew!" She shouts desperately after me.

¤¤¤

I find Vivian in a small park, sitting on a swing, drawing things with the tips of his shoes in the thin layer of snow that has started to paint the ground white. I walk up to him, slowly, and he turns his head slightly, looking towards me as I approach. His eyes look tremendously sad as they gaze into mine. He doesn't say anything, and I stop, standing a few meters away from him.

-"Viv..." I start, but he cuts me off, shaking his head.

-"Don't."

-"Viv... I... I don't know what to say."

-"Then don't say anything." His voice is very quiet and sad. He turns his head the other way, looking away from me and stares out into the distance. I walk up to him slowly and reach out to touch his shoulder. He stiffens a bit, but doesn't say anything. I sigh and sit down on the swing next to him, biting my lip hard enough for blood to make its way to the surface. I watch Vivians face closely, but he doesn't show any sign of emotions. I try my best to come up with anything to say, but fail miserably. _'I should have told you'? 'I didn't think you'd find out'? Stupid..._

-"Viv... Plase just let me..." _...explain? Stupid. What's there to explain?_ He remains quiet, and so do I. After a while, he tilts his head slightly downwards, closing his eyes and smiling bitterly.

-"It's so funny..." He shakes his head slightly. "Cause, you know... I already knew." I narrow my eyes, meeting his gaze as he looks back up at me, my face showing great confusion. "Your heartbeat." He explains, his voice holding such sadness, almost as if it's about to break. "Your pulse, Randy." He bites his lip as a tear falls down his cheek, although he laughs bitterly. "You don't have a pulse!" He looks down at the ground again, drying away the tear that fell from his eye. He's stopped laughing now and takes a deep breath, sighing. I still don't know what to say.

-"She thought that you knew." I explain, referring to Mistress. He nods his head.

-"And in a way, she was right." He sighs softly. "I never believed that vampires existed. Not even the night I realized that you don't have a pulse. I guess I didn't want to know..." His voice trails off. I nod my head slowly.

-"I told you that you were better off not knowing."

-"You know..." He starts as he looks back up at me again, a slight smile playing at his lips. "This explains so much."

-"It does."

-"Did you plan on telling me?"

-"No." I answer honestly. "I didn't plan on telling you. In fact, I didn't plan on staying with you at all. I didn't even plan on meeting you. Although, when you came into my life so conveniently, I couldn't help but to use you. At first, I was thinking that I could kill you, take your money and rent a hotel room, but when you invited me to stay... It was so much simpler to just manipulate you, and use you."

-"Is that all I was to you? A temporary solution to where you could stay?" He asks, his voice sounding hurt, and his eyes sad.

-"Yes. That's all you were to me." His eyes darken. "At first." I add. Silence falls upon us, as we both sit there, swinging back and forth slightly.

-"What else did you lie about?"

-"Nothing. Everything I've said is true. I've just left some pieces of the truth unspoken. About the 'accident', making me lose my memories, for example. There wasn't really an 'accident'. At least not the kind you're thinking of."

-"Then what happened?"

-"I was staked by someone. A woman who trained Sereinty. She must have though that I was killed, but I only fell into a slumber. I got woken up three months ago, when an archeologist found me."

-"How long had you been asleep? When were you staked?"

-"About 800 years ago." Vivian gives me a quizzical look. "It's true. You probably don't believe me though, but you don't have to believe me for it to be true." An other moment of silence passes before I speak again. "I still don't remember who I am. I've gotten some memories back. Sometimes they come to me when I hear or see something that's connected to a memory somehow, and sometimes they come to me in my dreams." Vivian nods.

-"It must be hard not knowing who you are."

-"It must have been hard for you too." I say, slowly realizing what Vivian must've gone through. "When did you notice that I don't have a pulse?"

-"About two weeks ago I guess." He shrugs.

-"So you walked around, knowing that there was something wrong with me for that long? Without asking me, or being afraid of me?" He nods.

-"I'm not sure why, but I just trusted you. I was sure that there was a logical explanation. Or at least that there was **some kind** of an explanation... And as you said, I was probably better off not knowing, and even if I asked, you wouldn't have told me, so I figured that I might as well not ask."

-"Are you afraid now? Now that you know for sure what I am?" I ask. He's silent for a while, thinking.

-"No, I'm not." He smiles slightly. "At least I don't think I am. I mean, I know what you're capable of doing, and what you have to do, and what you have been doing for over a month..." His voice trails off again.

-"And you're not thinking back now, afraid that it might have been you? Or that you migt be next?" I ask, and he shakes his head slightly.

-"Not really. I mean, if you wanted to kill me, then wouldn't you have done so already?" I smile slightly, nodding.

-"Exactly. If I wanted you dead, you wouldn't be sitting here now."

-"Though, Randy... I have to ask. Why? Why haven't you killed me?"

-"I didn't want to."

-"Why not? What made you decide not to?" I narrow my eyes slightly, thinking. _Yes, why didn't I kill him? Things might have been easier with him dead... I guess... I guess I just... like having him around?_

-"I didn't want you to die. Not when I hadn't even had the chance to get to know you yet. From the very beginning, you made me smile. You made it seem like life had a meaning, without having a distinct purpose. It was nice, living, being with you, having fun with you. It might have been pointless, but it was fun. You've made me realize that not everything have to have a meaning. You made me forget all about being a vampire. About being dead. About not knowing who I am, or what I'm supposed to be doing. You made me want to just live, to be who I am with you. You made it feel like it didn't matter who I once was, it's who I am now that's important..."

-"It is." Vivian agrees. "It doesn't matter to me who you were, nor does it matter **what** you are. What matters to me is who you are with me. As long as I don't have to see..." His voice once again trails off as he pulls a weird face, remembering what he just recently witnessed.

-"You won't." I promise.

-"Don't be mad at Mistress." He says suddenly, looking directly into my eyes. "It wasn't her fault. I mean, you said that she thought that I knew, so she can't be blamed. If it's anyones fault that I found out, I guess it's your own. So don't be mad at Mistress."

-"I won't."

-"Besides, I'm glad that she spilled your little secret. I'm glad that I found out. This changes so much." His voice trails off as he frowns, seeming to be thinking. Along with the silence building up around us, so is my anxiety.

-"Things don't have to change, you know." I whisper, looking at him pleadingly. "We can go back to how it was before..." Vivian smiles and gets off the swing, standing back up.

-"By far the most intresting person I've ever met." He smirks and holds out a hand for me. "It's getting cold. Let's go home."


End file.
